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Advice for coming out to my family

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Parasonic, Nov 13, 2016.

  1. Parasonic

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    I recently identified myself as bisexual, but I can't muster up the courage to come out to my parents. I don't know if they'll be mad, disappointed, sad, happy, etc. It seems like coming out to my friends and teachers would be so much easier (I haven't done it yet), but I want to come out to my family first because they're the closest to me. I've practiced the conversation over and over and over, but when I'm about to say it, I just can't. I feel so trapped, and the only way to free myself is to tell them. Can you guys share your stories and advice to help me?

    ---------- Post added 13th Nov 2016 at 05:57 PM ----------

    I meant to say family instead of parents.
     
  2. Robishere

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    I know that feeling. One of the hardest things to do is actually come out and say it right in front of the other person. When I came out to my parents, I wrote them a letter and put it on their pillow because I knew I would never muster up the courage to actually go up to them and say "I'm gay." However, I told my sisters literally minutes after telling my mother by saying it out loud.

    What I think you should do is set up a network of support. By that I mean that you should first come out to some friends or poeple whom you trust and know for sure that they will accept you for who you are no matter what. That's what I did. I told my best friends first because I knew they would be 100% ok with it and then I told my family. I can't tell you how much it helped to know that if it were to have gone sour with my family, I would have a group of people (not just one) that would be there for me.
     
  3. I'm gay

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    Most people tell a friend first - one that they are sure will be supportive. Often it's not a best friend, but that depends upon the friendship. Our parents and best friends are the people in our lives we love the most, and the ones we feel most vulnerable and dependent upon their approval of us. That's why telling them is so scary.

    Telling a supportive friend does a couple of important things. It gives you a chance to Come Out for the first time to someone you know will not reject you. That person then becomes your confidant, someone you can talk to about your feelings. Doing this will help build your confidence. I would even suggest a couple of friends if you know they can keep your secret.

    Experience helps us in anything we do, and gaining the experience of coming out prior to your most important coming out will be helpful to you.

    Cheers and good luck! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  4. questions4ever

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    What makes you scared about your parents reaction? Have you brought up LGBT topics around them? What was their response?
     
  5. LeHLNK

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    As they say, it is better to tell first to a friend whom you consider close, dont forget to give your parents some personal space to think about it if you come out to them, sometimes the topic is so hot on our heads that you want a inmediate reaction based on your thoughts but you really have to give them time to analize things (mind that if they are clueless about it that may be a shock). Sometimes coming out can result in a storm that wont give you enough time to ease the "damage". Be sure to love yourself and the people closse to you, you had lots of time to think about it but they don't: let them fight with their beliefs too.