1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Scared?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by theCrazySquid, Nov 14, 2016.

  1. theCrazySquid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2016
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I live in a flat out christian family. My oldest brother is the most accepting one, and the family member that I have come closest to. He believes in LGBT rights, along with evrybody else. My parents are homophobics, and are always "interrogating" me and asking me if I'm gay. They say I act like I am. I am sick and tired of them telling me who to be. I am questioning my sexuality currently, but am definitley leaning towards being gay. Most of my friends are girls. And i have a guy crush. I'm so scared to even tell my brother that I'm questioning, let alone tell my parents. What should I do. It is so sad that anyone would have to be put through any situation like this.:icon_sad:
     
  2. Asking

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2016
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yeah, that's awful. Honestly I'm not experienced here, I'm not outwardly homosexual and live in New York, but if I were you I'd ask them why it would matter if you were. Hopefully it doesn't come up again. It must be horrible to have immediate homophobic relatives.

    Sorry I can't be of more use. Good luck!
     
  3. TheMatthew

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2015
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    In your situation, I would advise first coming out to any close friends you can trust. Make sure they won't tell anyone else if you're not ready to completely be out. If you want to tell any family members, it seems like your brother would be the safest option. Do not do anything you're uncomfortable with, though; sometimes coming out can be a long process, so don't feel pressured. It's all about what you want to do.
     
  4. theCrazySquid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2016
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thank you guys for your advice. I will probably wait a little longer.
     
  5. Romancer

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2016
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You say your parents are homophobic, but I hope you are not basing this just on the fact that they may think you are gay. Do they say other homophobic things? Are you truly questioning or are you maybe using that as a way to avoid just coming out to yourself? I come from a flat out Christian family too, and I know my folks would prefer that I was not gay, but they aren't really homophobic.

    My experience was that the hardest person to come out to was myself!
     
  6. warrior452

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2016
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Fort Plain
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I gotchu. In basically the same exact situation right now...I would say it's purely on a case-by-case basis. You know your situation better than anyone else. I have chosen not to come out yet to my family, because I'm 100% the reaction will be negative. I have however, chosen to come out to 3-4 affirming friends, and I have made it clear to others that I'm an ally, even though I have not explicitly come out to them. I agree with everything said above. Coming out to yourself is the first and hardest step. Honestly, it's taken me the last 12 years to admit it to myself, and I still can't verbalize, "I'm gay" sometimes, but once you've acknowledged that, it gets easier and easier. Baby steps are important...I got my own netflix account and started watching LGBT themed shows and movies. Glee was a huge part of my questioning/discovery process. Read LGBT blogs and websites (Buzzfeed LGBT, Out, The Advocate) - provided you don't like share a computer as a family or something. If you yourself are religious, there are literally a million progressive Christian blogs run by LGBT people that are open, affirming, and loving towards the community, while still maintaining a faith focus - and often answering some big questions about being gay and Christian!

    I would also echo the sentiment that just because they think you're gay doesn't necessarily equal homophobia. However, having grown up in that environment, I totally get it. Often that can grow into condescension and disgust about gay people and you specifically.

    I would say just play it by ear. Don't feel like you have to fall into a stereotype of coming out by a certain time or of doing "gay things". Take it a day at a time...hoping for you that if you ever do decide to come out, that all is well.

    Hit me up if you ever need to talk!

    Love and good vibes xoxo
     
  7. theCrazySquid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2016
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Romancer- yes they do all the time

    ---------- Post added 15th Nov 2016 at 12:55 PM ----------

    Thanks as well, warrior452