Hey fellow EC members, I am a gay boy, living in Turkey. I only told me being gay to my cousins and 5 close, 3 normal friends in the last six months. So I guess this is a question we all ask: How do I come out? I believe there is one essential rule: you have to accept yourself. And believe me or not, this is definitely the hardest stage. And it doesnt take a few minutes by only accepting that you like same sex or you wanna change your gender. You have to embrace it. And it is not easy, especially if you live in a society where homosexuality is a taboo, or worse, a sin. It takes a few years, if not more, for you to understand that you are beautiful. So closeted gay fellows, even joining this forum is a huge step for you, connecting with other gay people sharing and listening LGBT people's problems. Besides this, I strongly advise watching as much pro-LGBT videos as possible. Also, if you open up in internet, it will be easier to shift this into real life, chatting with gay people online (BUT ONLY CHATTING) whom you trust also helps you to embrace yourself. You will feel more connected to this group that you already belong. One of the biggest problems for gay people is acting as a straight person for soo long that it feels like you actually are when youre around your friends. The things I said above will probably start to make you think more about your sexuality in your daily life, so when talk on opposite sex comes up, try not to lie. Dont say you would bang that chick, just say yeah shes nice. Dont go around saying a girl is hot af, just say she seems cute and vice versa. This will help you deny the fact that youre straight not just within yourself, or online but also in real life. Building up these are super important for your coming out process, because you may never feel ready to come out, if you dont make this part of your identity a part of your life. After this, it us just about finding the right person to tell, come out first to someone you trust. My coming out was me drunk af, telling it to my cousin, luckily he was okay with it. I am not a good example on this because I was intoxicated, just try to come out sober, but it is harder to do so. After this point it is easier, after a few days or weeks, you will feel your sexual or gender identity is more of you because you can freely talk about this with another person. Than you should create a circle in your mind covering all the people in your life, put yourself in the middle and start creating circles inside according to their relativeness and open mindedness. Than start coming out to close people with an open mind and move on further and further. This is when the environmental luck kicks in because a conservative environment may be harder for you since you will face rejection, denial, anger from the very beginning. Thank you guys for reading Love yall (*hug*)
Hey be chill! That's a great post, and your advice and words of encouragement are very helpful to everyone here at EC. It's helpful to see these real-life examples of people coming out and working on living their lives in a honest and authentic way. I think you are so right in how you described the process for you in reaching acceptance, and so true that this journey can take such a long time. I only want to specifically comment on one thing from your post: By "normal" I'm assuming you mean straight friends? I think it's important that we in the LGBT community strike that word from our vocabulary. I am gay, and I am normal. When we use the word "normal" to describe those who are heterosexual, we automatically place all of us in the "not normal" category. Ridding our culture of so much heteronormativity should be a goal for all of us, and the use of our language is an important part of that. Cheers on coming out! Will you continue to come out to others, such as your parents? Take care. ride:
It takes a lot of courage even when drunk to let all that out, just be carefull to whom you decide to be open, in an ideal world it should not matter but we, globablly havent taken that step yet, i wish you the best and hope life has something beautiful prepared for you and will let you find love where only happiness matter.
