Hey! I have a difficult situation. I'm out as trans to my mother, but she is away on business right now. She says that we should meet as a family to tell everyone else (father, adult sibling, two preteen siblings) when she returns. I'm not too worried about how my siblings will take it, but I feel my father might not be very supportive, at least at first. I'm not too worried about myself, but I can't help but feel like he might say something that could frighten the younger ones about not coming forward with something in the future, or making them feel depressed or like they have no one to turn to if they had something (of any sort) that they needed to communicate. So I'm stuck. I kind of want to tell them secretly before we meet as a group, but I'm not sure what to say or how to 'warn' them of what might happen. I don't know whether it would be better to sit down with him and my mom before telling them. Or maybe I should just accept that my mom is smarter than me and her plan will work out perfectly. I'm just wondering if anyone has some advice about what they would do in that situation? Thanks a lot for any help!
Because you have already spoken to your mother, maybe you should get with her briefly before the family meeting and tell her exactly what you have said above, about being worried your dad might say something that might frighten your younger siblings. She might either be able to put your mind at ease about it, or if she also thinks he might say something damaging, she could speak with him in private about it before the meeting. I would definitely not let this worry on your part get in the way of your coming out to the rest of your family.
You could just send your adult sibling and father the preset coming out email from MyKidisGay dot com before you talk to your younger siblings. This would cut down on the likelihood of harmful outbursts or inappropriate questions in front of them. I think it does a good job of introducing what trans means for clueless people.
