I've never come out to anyone in real life before, and honestly? I don't want to. Straight people don't come out, why should I. I'm not necessarily scared of being bi, but when I am ready to let people know that I like girls and boys, I don't need to make a public announcement. If someone asks, I'll tell them the truth. Has anyone ever done this before, does it work? What are the pros and cons to coming out? :help: Also, please ignore that I don't know how to use a comma.(*hug*)
Hi reny, Short answer: you don't have to come out if you don't want to. Long answer: Coming out is quite a liberating experience, albeit an emotionally challenging one, but just make sure that you do it on your own terms. The only thing I would say is that unless you make it obvious people will never ask you if you aren't straight. Obviously, if you go to a LGBT bar then people would figure it out but in day to day interaction people will rely on stereotypes (unfortunately) to decide. Most importantly, I think you need to figure why you want to come out or why you don't want to come out. I convinced myself that I didn't need to come out to everyone because I shouldn't have to but the truth was that I was scared of exposure. From your post it isn't clear why you don't want to come out, and you don't have to mention it here if you don't want to, but it might be something for you to think about. The reason, btw, for coming out is so that it would be easier for you to meet people you might like - as you are bi that would mainly apply to guys you like. Hope this helps.
Well, you do not necessarily need to make a public announcement to come out! You could just be open about your sexuality and let people know that way that you're bisexual. I mean by that that you can just comment on the appearance of another female whenever you feel the need to, or that you can ask your friends to got gay bars with you, or that you can start talking about dating females. Technically, this is 'coming out' as well, as 'being in the closet' is hiding your sexuality. By doing that, you would act exactly the same regarding your sexuality as straight people do.
Good for you. I will never come out. I'm married to a woman who I love and live a normal(ish) life with her. Except I like sucking & wanking men off in secret as I like the seedy thought of it.
I only made the "announcement" that I was bisexual to my closest friends, shortly after I had figured out my sexuality. Otherwise, I didn't make that big of a deal out of it. Nowadays I just tell them my sexuality if they ask, or if it's relevant in a given conversation. This method works quite well for me, since I'm not the type to enjoy too much attention (this is NOT to say that people who come out are attention seekers), though it can confuse some people if I casually mention my sexuality, and then they do a double-take of sorts. Pros to coming out publicly: It helps you to come to terms with yourself if you're still struggling. It also gives you more confidence. But a big thing it does is make yourself easily accessible to other LGBT+ people who may have otherwise been too scared to ask you directly about your sexuality. Cons to coming out publicly: Coming from an introvert, a con is that it can draw a lot of attention, some of which may be negative. That's about all I can think of.
