I came out as gay this year, but I am not that open about it yet. Today I ran into a few of my neighbors who I used to be friends with and who used to be very homophobic. I don't know if they're still homophobic because I haven't interacted with them in a long time. Although I'm not really friends with them anymore, my brother is. When my brother comes home, there's a good chance that these neighbors will show up at our house unannounced to hang out. It's possible that my neighbors have heard through the grapevine that I'm gay. I'm scared they're going to make fun of me for it and make me feel like a pervert. I already feel like a freak sometimes, so it will be very upsetting to me if they ridicule me. How do I keep my head up even if they reject me?
There's NOTHING wrong with you. Don't let anyone make you feel that way and if they try, they do not deserve to be in your life, period.You have to get to a point where you do not care about the opinion of homophobic idiots, though that's generally tough and takes a long time for most people.
You deserve to love yourself, its gonna be weird and things can get messy but the person living your life is no other than you, if they cannot accept that well then they dont deserve to know how wonderful you are no matter who you love. Fight for it!
Thanks, guys. The only people who definitely know that I'm gay that I've interacted with in person are my parents, who are accepting of it. I have never been openly gay to anyone else in person before. I was always shy about sex in general before I came out, and now it's overwhelming because when I eventually come out to other people in person, I'm going to be thinking, "Oh, my God, they know I'm attracted to guys, oh, my God" and I'm afraid I might have a panic attack or something. I am a very sensitive person and I don't know how I'm going to be able to process it if someone views me as perverted.
If they're a stupid bigot, what they think doesn't really matter. If anyone is mean to you, tell us so we can kick their butt:lol:
Lol thanks. Today was kind of awkward because my Grandma came over for Thanksgiving and I didn't come out to her. It was the first time since I came out to myself that I've spent a significant amount of time interacting with someone who has a history of homophobia. We were watching football and I found myself checking out some of the players, and I felt weird about it since my Grandma was sitting a few feet away from me and might despise me if she knew I was gay...
Haha. Ugh, I just feel so sad all the time. I just wish so badly that I could go back and change the past, make myself realize that I liked guys a long time ago so I wouldn't be so screwed up about it now...I know I can't change the past but I feel like I'll never get over it. It all just seems like it was pointless suffering and I'll never understand it.
