So earlier this week i mentioned i came out to my mum as "liking girls". Up to now only her and my therapist know. The thing is, i play football with a bunch of girls and even though we are not the best of friends we do see each other every week. I get pretty annoyed about the fact that they are very wary of what they say around girls from out team that fit into the gay stereotype but with me i fall down the cracks: i am always receiving comments assuming im straight and its bothering me a lot....should i come out the next ocassion i get? The thing is that one of the girls i do like as a friend and she keeps commenting on her bf telling her she has a crush on me...i dont feel attracted to her but i feel that after her telling me all this i might make her feel unconfortable around me. Also there is this other girl who i fancy (and is straight) so i dont want to overexpose myself...help please...
It sounds like you have a pretty good understanding of yourself.. and of others too. And you are considering other peoples' feelings. So apart from this particular situation, can I just tell you that you will do well in the world. The world needs more people like you. Now, being on a sports team is one of the best ways to make friends, learn how friendships work, and practice being a good friend. How to do that in this situation? Is anyone else on the team out? I agree it is hard to find some convenient instant to blurt it out, without it seeming like you are making some big Pronouncement to get attention or get into somebody's pants. Maybe wearing some rainbow bracelet or other LGBT signs? I think I remember your earlier post that you just recently told your therapist. That was a good move, probably the hardest one to make. And hey the world didn't end. To a good therapist (hope you're lucky on that count) being gay is practically "normal" I mean common. It's like a sprain at the doctor's office. Many people have walked the path before. So I hope yr therapist can give you the benefit of what our culture has learned about being gay. I also like the way you describe it: "liking girls". It's better to use verb than nouns -- I am a this or that. Because that sounds like something you can't back out of. Well hang in there. Don't sprain your ankle out there on the pitch!
beenthrdonetht your words are extremely kind and I appreciate them very much! thank...will see what my gut tells me to do moving forward thank you(*hug*)
It seems to me that if you're worried about girls all of sudden thinking you're into them or something similar to the situation with your straight friend, if/when you come out to your team, you just need to conclude with, "So, if anyone knows any nice girls, let me know!"
