I'm going home over the weekend and I want to use the chance to come out to close friends and family as pansexual and nonbinary. I feel ready to do so and want to stop keeping it a secret. However, I don't want to make coming out a big deal. It would be perfect if it came up naturally while talking. My question is: How do I steer the conversation that way? And what questions should I be prepared for? And: How do I ensure I really come out and don't chicken out before? I am already a bit nervous and know myself well enough to have doubts if I will really go for it.
The short answer is it is almost impossible to "steer" the conversation so the topic comes up naturally. What works better is to tell one person first, and then you and that person together can help steer things. Could be as direct as having that other person just say "There's something that just-me has on his/her mind" Because it's much easier for you to tell somebody else to say it than it is for you to blurt it out. Of course you could be more subtle than that. But it is pretty much a contradiction to have a planned spontaneous thing happen. You will just wind up having the same awkward coming-out that everyone else had.
There's no good way to come out in my opinion, at least from my experience. It just takes some personal courage. It's hard, I know. It seems unlikely that LGBT just happens to come up. Is that likely given the general nature of topics that are usually discussed in your family? If not, steering the conversation will seem forced. Say what you want to say, And let the words fall out. Honestly. I want to see you be brave. -- Brave, Sara Bareilles
The truth is, there's no way to make it completely easy. Try to find the way it's most comfortable to you, and have people you really feel good about with you.
