Hey everyone... I have a real problem. It's keeping me from sleeping because I just can't fathom how someone could do something like this. It's 5:00 AM so bear with me... I was dating a guy named Dylan since January - and we eventually broke up just recently. But that isn't the problem... Dylan spent every weekend with me, and often times we saw each other during the week also. So one Friday night we had plans to hang out, and he agreed to come over to my house as soon as he got off work which was around 11:30, so he would be here around Midnight. Midnight rolls around - and I'm waiting. And waiting.. And waiting... I get a text message. "Sorry, I'm sick and am going to bed. See you tomorrow." I texted him back with things like, "I hope you feel better." "I wish I was there to lay with you and take care of you." etc. etc... Never got a reply. Turns out he wasn't sick at all. Let me tell you what really happened. Several days before this he somehow met Ryan, my ex. So that night he left straight from work, ditched me, and went to Ryan's house. That night, he cheated on me. Dylan and Ryan laughed at my text messages saying that I was hoping he was okay and feeling better. Well. I had no idea... Dylan came over the next day, and we hung out many times after that, too. He continued as normal, as though nothing had happened. He still told me he loved me and everything. Eventually Dylan started becoming a real jerk, and mentally/emotionally abusive (he was constantly trying to cut me down), and I ended the relationship. I just found out last night from Ryan what happened that night when Dylan was "too sick" to come see me. I confronted Dylan. He admits to it. But the best part is that he finds it "hilarious" that he "got away with it". So... I don't know how to feel right now. I'm not necessarily upset or anything, because I look at this way: He was a jerk anyway. And if he would cheat on me, he wasn't worth my time anyway. I'm much better off without the dirtbag. But the thing that bothers me is that I was completely unaware the entire time this was going on. I feel... violated and deeply betrayed. I just don't know what to do. Advice is appreciated... :help:
That's horrible! (*hug*) I'm a bit confused he thought he "got away with it" though. He did, for a time. But in the end you did find out... Whether or not this happened after you ended the relationship doesn't matter! It's a confusing situation, to be sure. But in the end, I think you shouldn't allow yourself to become paranoid over such things. Otherwise it's going to weigh on any future relationships you might have. Distrust can destroy much. And if you really find a guy that's awesome and doesn't turn into a jerk you'll have to just trust that they're not being jerks behind your back too. All of this comes from a completely single guy, though, so anything I say might be coloured by naive optimism...
People can really be arses sometimes. My ex has just told me that the 3 years we spent together ment nothing to him, he never loved me, and he just never knew how to get out of the relationship. Be thankful it was only a few months, and that he didn't 'pretend' to like you making you stay in the relationship. Don't let it get you down tho, theres plenty of decent guys out there who wont cheat, these 2 guys are definitely not examples of this tho.
That is really harsh but if you trust someone you believe him when he tells you your sick, don't blame yourself for that, I have made mistakes like that as well. Now that you know just forget him, he isn't worth your time!
i feel for you mk,your young and you'll go through many situations similiar to this,until you reach a age were your partners are more adult like and feel they have no time to act imature,these types of guys are all over,with a level head on your shoulder you will be able to weed out the bad ones,with experience,you just got your first lesson,remember what happen the warning signs,know them but don't close yourself off to others out there that do find you attractive and fun to be with,you will rebound stronger than before,i wish you all the best in the future.
Be thankful that it was only 3 months and not 3 years. Learn from it. Some people are jerks. But not everyone!
Live and learn, then get Luvs. Seriously, it really sucks that it all went down like that, but you'll know more for next time. You will recover, and you'll be stronger than you were before. And if you happen to see Dylan again, don't punch him in the face (as tempting and deserved as it would be), but don't be scared to tell him how you REALLY feel.
they are arse holes just wish them a life of missery and go find yourself a great guy and rub it in their face.. you can do so much better than them horrid trolls just remember someone who has that level of deceit and is used to it can never trust or care for anyone so they will live a very hollow life full of fake smiles. you keep the moral high ground and move on
ok, so both of your ex's are complete assholes. neither is worth your time. so, what do u do? what ever u want. if it were me, id get some revenge. if dylan gets a new bf, sleep with that bf! let him feel the pain. or if it ever got to it (which i hope it doesnt) kick his ass. and ryan's too. he should have known better.
You've learned your new ex, much like your old ex, is an asshole. One who thought it was clever and brilliant to abuse the trust you placed on him in order to get his rocks off with another guy. Even if you weren't the guy he was cheating on, this is enough info to know that this asshole isn't somebody you want/need in your life in the slightest. Be grateful that he's out of your life, and take a few steps to ensure that he does. Lex
Yeah... I trusted someone who I believed loved me only to find out he had no problem lying to me. I always knew he lied to people... but I thought I was an honest exception since we shared so much together. The worst part is that it affects your judgement of people in general. I naturally want to trust people but most find it too easy to just lie and walk away. I have to wonder if there's anyone else like me... So if I could, I wish I could hug you... I know you're not over this and won't be for a while, especially since he was with your ex. Did you feel the adrenaline and anxiety rush through your body when you found out? That still happens to me when I discover the exploitations of how naive I am... (*hug*)
Yeah they're assholes. *hugs* to you for having to put up with this. I can't imagine the heartbreak. ...You may take comfort in the fact that they were both involved in cheating, and so if they continue to have a relationship with each other, they most likely will cheat on each other. One or both them will feel your pain, while you got out of a poor relationship while you did. Heh... being slightly sadistic I suppose. But you're a nice guy, and a nice guy will eventually come along for you. Just gotta wait...
Learn voodoo, take a lock of each of your asshole of an exes' hair, and make two voodoo dolls just for them. Never-ending revenge is sweet, n'est pas? LOL On a serious note, forget about them. Neither guys are worth your thought. Just remember: Karma comes back around ten fold.:icon_wink
Wow... I didn't expect this many replies. You all had some fantastic advice and it made me feel a lot better. I truly appreciate everyone taking the time to help me out. There were a few specific pieces I wanted to comment on, though: I agree. I won't let the actions of one fool prevent me from being happy with someone who does care about me. It's simply not worth it. Exactly! I'm so glad that I didn't waste a lot of time with him... When I read that, my eyes lit up because that's exactly how he is. He lives a hollow life full of fake smiles. I sensed it from the beginning, and I sense it even more now. He's dead on the inside, it seems. But yes, I will keep the moral high ground - I can't stoop down to his level and try for revenge or something. Karma will do its thing I hope. I couldn't have put that any better myself. I've done everything I can to make sure he can't contact me again... I don't need him in my life and I don't want him in it. Tell me about it. xD Same here, Paralyzer. I know exactly how you feel. I just keep going, continue to trust and appreciate people, and hope that one day I'll find someone like me who will appreciate what I have to offer. A hug would be amazing. =P And yes, the adrenaline rush was certainly there... I felt something just come over my whole body the moment I found out. I hope so. Both of them have a lot of issues they need to resolve, and I fear they never ever will. They'll get into a relationship one day and the pain that they inflicted on me and others will come back at them. Like you said, I'm coming out on top because I got away from it all pretty much unscathed. I really, really hope so. =] You know what's great, everyone? Dylan stopped taking Ryan's phone calls and refuses to talk to him anymore. I guess he was just using him to make me sad or something. Now Ryan is pissed at Dylan and feels used. I guess karma is already at play here, eh? All-in-all, I'm feeling much better. They can't bring me down, no matter how hard they try. I'm surrounded by people that do care about me, and I want to spend my time with them - not waste it worrying over the people that don't. I just want to thank everyone again for the help... (*hug*) On a final note, this situation reminds me of the song Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects. Has anybody ever heard it? I'm going to post my favorite part, hope you don't mind...
Awesome song Coincidence out of 538 songs on random, thats what came on as i opened this thread! *cue twilight zone music*
That really sucks, and I'm sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, there are always going to be people like that: crappy people who betray you and laugh at you and hurt you and enjoy hurting you. We've all known them. You just have to realize that you are better than them. Once you admit to yourself that they're the ones with the problems, that there's nothing wrong with you, that they never deserved any love from you in the first place...then you can begin to heal. I'm glad you're already feeling better. I hope that those guys will someday realize what idiots they were and try not to continue to do such horrible stuff to other people. (*hug*)
What a jerk! You are so much better off without him! How could he do that you, you were just trying to do something nice and the laughed! How mean! You sound like an amazing dude so don't ever settle for people like him! Good luck to you!
