Hello everyone, I've been reading here on EC for a while now and thought the time has come to register.:icon_bigg So I have accepted being bi, though it sort of bothers me that I can't be a normal straight or a normal gay person, because in a lot of aspects in my life I do not fit into the two boxes that most of the people assume there are, but somewhere in between. I haven't come out to anyone yet, but I am so ready to come out now. Two weeks ago I've decided to come out to my best friend, but there hasn't come the right moment. How can I tell her and don't make it a big deal? I would like best to tell her in a natural conversation, but it didn't happen yet. Does anyone have any suggestions what would be a good moment to tell her? I mean for example I don't want to tell her the night I stay over in case she felt uncomfortable. But I also don't want to be like ,hey I have to tell you something important can I come over?' I think she would be supportive, but I'm still a bit scared that something could change between us. I want to come out to her as soon as possible because in about a month I have an opportunity (which I don't want to specify) to come out to my class very casually. Very quickly my entire school would probably know. Do you think it's too big of a step from not out at all to out to almost everyone in a month? Thank you for reading and answering dragonite
While I'm not out at the moment, back in high school, I told a couple friends I thought I might be bi, and the situation was sort of similar, so I hope I can help. If you want to come out in normal conversation but the opportunity hasn't arisen yet, maybe consider a compromise: you could wait for a normal interaction (hanging out, grabbing a coffee, etc.) and bring it up: "Hey, by the way, there's something I've been wanting to tell you." That way, it won't be a situation where you've worried her ahead of time by saying, "Hey I have to tell you something can I come over," but you still can decide to bring it up whenever you want, so you have total control of your own coming out. As for the "too big of a step" question, I think that's up to you. I think you're right that it's only fair to your closest friend(s) to find out about your sexuality from you directly first, but really, it's your choice how you come out. If it feels better just to come out and not be hiding from anyone, then I don't think that's too big a step! And if it makes you feel any better, I'm sort of dealing with the same stuff right now. (Though I talked to some people before, no one at university or grad school knows I'm gay, nor does my family.) So I hope it goes well. Good luck! (*hug*)
