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Help me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ukusalol, Nov 30, 2016.

  1. ukusalol

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    So i am 13 years old right now and I decided to write on here as everyone is so friendly and helpful. (By the way sorry if i mess up something as i dont usually go on forums).

    When i was 11 or 12 I started noticing that i was attracted to boys and I was terrified of it. I did not want to be gay, I wanted to be straight like everyone else so, I tried to be straigh by dating girls. But i didnt like it, I felt nothing, I didnt feel that spark everyone talks about. Because of all of this I became depressed and did not enjoy doing things I previously enjoyed doing. At some points I had suicidal thoughts and im glad i pushed them away.

    A few moths ago, I started to watch people Youtube that were happy and had come out to everyone. I got inspired and I decided to be happy. So i did.(I make it sound like it was something easy but it wasnt) But I still did not want to be gay. And it was only till 2 days ago that I finally accepted it and started telling myself I was gay which felt very weird.

    I havent told anyone that I am gay yet. I want to tell my friends before my family as I feel that if they react badly it will not matter as much as my family reacting badly. One part of me feels ready to come out to my friends but the other part of me feels that I need to get toghether with another boy to see if im really gay. I dont really have any best freinds we all just hang out in a group which doesnt help. Im not too bothered about telling my family right now .I could tell them in a few months. Please help me. Am i too young? Should i come out to my friends?

    Thanks
     
  2. Anthemic

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    I do not think you are too young to know if you're gay. I knew I liked women when I was 14; while having suspicions at 13. I agree that it's probably best to tell friends before family. Do you have a friend in particular who might be more accepting and willing to listen? If so, maybe you should try telling them. Do you think boys are attractive? Have you ever had a crush on another boy?
     
  3. Closed book

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    Hi there, about this time last year I was in the same position as you so I'll try give the best advice I can

    The most important thing is that you are comfortable and accepting of yourself before telling others, you should never feel forced to come out but if that's what makes you happy then I say you certainly aren't too young :slight_smile:. Whatever you decide to do good luck (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 30th Nov 2016 at 11:57 PM ----------

    Also if you're worried about their reaction try bringing up the subject of sexuality to see how your peers/family. And if you feel that you are gay then chances are that those feelings are correct, I've never been out with a boy but I do know I'm gay, but everyone is different so just you do whatever seems right for you
     
  4. Billy the kid

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    You don't need to rush into it. Make sure you are ready, that is your decision. I came out to my friends first. They were very accepting so that felt great. Find a good friend, someone you know that will be accepting. The kind of person that has a trusting personality and can keep a secret. At your age peers love to gossip so just be aware that the news could spread like wild fire if you tell the wrong person. When you come out you will realize that you are the same person you always were. It is also a lifelong process telling people but it gets easier. Good luck !!!
     
  5. NicoC123

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    Hey there! Sometimes it is really hard to get a grip on your feelings and truly understand them. I think the choice to come out or not is purely up to you. You need to decide whether you are secure enough in your sexuality to announce it to your friends, and if you are that is fantastic! If you aren't that is also fantastic because it means you are still exploring what you want, and that is perfectly okay. I'd say really think about this maybe make a pros and cons list to help sort out your thoughts. Most importantly, though, you need to make sure you are safe. Whether it be with friends or family if you think they may react negatively or even violent it may be better to wait it out until you have a safe environment. As for being with a boy beforehand I will tell you that it is very hard to find someone trustworthy to be with while in the closet, but it does happen and can give you some strong affirmations on your feeling just be safe with choosing someone to be with and how you be with them. I think all in all YOU need to make the choice on whether or not to tell people, but whatever choice you make is the right one if you are happy with it. Good luck!
     
  6. johndeere3020

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    Take your time and what is right for you. You will know when the time is right. Remember you don't have to label yourself, in the long run labels don't really mean anything. At least they don't for me!

    Take Care