I put this in the sexual orientation forum but it could go here too: This past week one of my best friends and some others came to stay at my house for a couple days. The last night that they were here I pulled my best friend into my room and told him that I am currently trying to figure out my sexuality but i'm pretty sure i'm lesbian. He was 100% supportive and totally amazing about it, but while I was telling him I thought that I would have some great "weight lifted of your shoulders" moment. But, I didn't feel anything, honestly, I didn't even feel relieved, I felt nothing. Since then I've been seriously thinking what that could even mean. Yes, I felt that after telling him I would be completely ok with telling my best friend and that I would do it during Christmas break. Now, I don't even know if im going to come out to her because I think that because I felt nothing finally coming out to someone, I may not be gay.. I may just be completely overthinking everything, but I honestly don't know what this could (or could not) mean
I think you are right that you are overthinking things a bit. Now, the mere fact that you suspected that is a good sign: you probably understand yourself as well as you can right now. Or to put it another way: you are being honest with yourself as far as you can. But there are some thing you honestly don't know. Based on other people's reports on this forum, your reaction is way common. Partly because you're not (quite) out to yourself yet. And if you're single you have less evidence. Now, everybody says (correctly) that you can know your orientation well before you act on it by dating. But it seems like you haven't quite got there yet. Too long; didn't read: brief answer is that your reaction is totally common, you are totally normal, but just don't quite know what's coming next. Secret: neither does anybody else! Hugs and good thoughts.
Honestly it is okay to be questioning things. Give it time. It may be that you are bicurious or bisexual or perhaps actually a lesbian. Not having that weight lifted off the shoulders thing doesn't necessarily mean you are not a lesbian. Perhaps you just knew that he would be accepting of you whatever you told him and whomever you are. I had those less than momentous coming outs and it doesn't make your orientation any less valid for not having a moment like that.
I can only tell you my experience: When I told my best friend I didn't really feel anything. But it also wasn't a big deal to her. We were talking before and we talked after I came out to her, as if nothing happenend in between. Maybe you need to give it time. If you don't feel like coming out to your best friend then don't. I just wanted my best friend to know even that part of me, so I did it. But it's not like you can't tell her in one month, six months, a year or when ever you feel like it.
That feeling that you described, or rather what you expected, is caused by tension. If your tension does not lessen upon coming out, you will not get any feelings of a "weight lifted off your shoulders". Likewise, if you didn't feel very tense to begin with, there will be no reason for you to feel much of a sense of relief. I don't know which of those cases apply to you, but my point is that the feeling of a "weight lifted off your shoulders" is not an integral part of coming out; it is simply a possible consequence. I came out to one of my friends as non-cis today (I can't seem to get the words "trans male" out of my mouth) and I felt no weight lifted off my shoulders. That was because I didn't really feel any tension leading up to the moment (to clarify, fully coming out as trans male wouldn't have made me any more tense or relieved). But regardless of how I felt at the time, I still came out to that person. And of course, I am still trans. Not feeling much after coming out doesn't as little as imply that you are not gay. The only thing that indicates your sexuality is your feelings of attraction. You not feeling much simply means that your emotions were rather controlled at that time, and that any other feelings of stress that you may have are caused by things other than the thought of coming out to your friends.
