So I came out to my extended family- it's really just 3 cousins, an aunt, an uncle and my grandmother. It's been electronic and they mostly haven't responded yet and I'm f***ing scared. I came out to my dad earlier this year, and before he passed (also this year) he... never accepted me. Most transphobic piece of shit I couldn't believe- he almost threw me out. I mean, Cousin Tom's son is a trans man, so he could be okay. His only response was literally just 'ok.' Like what the hell. I don't know what that means. I'm nonbinary. Does ok mean 'ok I support you' or 'ok whatever' or is it just passive aggressive bs. I can't get out of my head how my dad reacted. He literally said quote, 'no. don't say that and never say that again.' I'm going to visit them for a few days around christmas and I wish I hadn't come out to them but I couldn't handle being around them for days being called 'she' and I really do not know what to do right now.
Hey WidaldConfortar, I feel for you. Even though, I’m a cis-male bisexual, I can understand and sympathize with your frustration over your family’s reaction. Not to excuse anyone – your father included – just remember that it took a long time for you to come to terms with you gender identity. Don’t you own your family time to come to terms with it as well? In terms of your Cousin Tom, his response was noncommittal. That could be that he didn’t expect your statement as much as that he didn’t know exactly how to respond to you. But at least his response wasn’t negative, so I would suggest that you move forward from there. In terms of your Dad’s reaction. You can’t change that. I know it will be very hard, but you have to try to get past that as best as you can. In terms of dealing with your family over the holidays, that is a tough one, as you said. I’d recommend that you just try to be insistent on the pronouns you wish them you use. Don’t be offensive. Just insistent. If they use the wrong pronouns for you, either, ignore them or say something like “oh, were you talking to me?” I don’t know your family, so I don’t know if that would actually work, but that’s what I would do. Just some thoughts.
