Hi there everyone, I am an 18 year old boy from the Netherlands and I'm looking for some advice. I reckon this post is going to be kind of long and complex, so thank you very much if you make it to the end. About 1,5 years ago, I came out to my mom and she took it really well. My friends and my brother also know about it and none of them have a problem with it. My father, however, doesn't know. At the time I came out to my mom, I was dating a guy and he really wanted me to tell my dad so we didn't have to be secretive about it and so that he could also come home with me, instead of always going over to his house. Due to circumstances, my mom advised me not to tell my dad yet. So I didn't. The guy whom I was dating at the moment couldn't take it anymore after almost a year, which I could understand. Recently, I've met a really really sweet guy from school and to be honest this short time that I know him, it feels so much better than with any of the guys I've talked with before. He is sweet, funny and takes initiative to see me. It's for the first time in a while where I don't have to worry if a guy likes me. But meanwhile, my dad still doesn't know about me being gay. I've spoken to friends and they told me that it would be so much easier if my dad knows. And if I can finally take someone I care about home, I guess I will be much happier too. But I am kind of scared of my dad's reaction. The reason for this is that he is christian and I just have the feeling that he won't be happy at all to learn about his son being gay. The situation at home the past year has been very awful for a while, as my dad was kind of depressed due to circumstances. It wasn't a pleasant time at all. The past few months have been much better, with things returning to normal again. My friends say that this is the time to tell, as everything is now going well again. I think they do have a point. I want to talk to my mother about this first, though, so that she knows that I want to tell him. However, I just find it difficult to start the conversation about this... I don't know what to say to her and how to bring across the point. I want to do it face to face though. A big reason that I finally want to try to tell my dad again is that the awesome guy that I met just doesn't deserve waiting. He deserves it to not have to lie. I want to be able to take him home and introduce him; as he is the first one who I would be proud to introduce. I hope you guys have some advice for me as to how to handle this... Thanks all!
Do you know why your mom advised against telling your dad, initially? He may be Christian but that doesn't necessarily mean he's anti-LGBT, does it? Have you got a feeling, yourself, how he might react? You could bring it up with your mom by asking why she thought you shouldn't tell your dad. Maybe you could explain that you want to be honest with him and give him a chance to know you properly. She may be overcompensating for him when he might be perfectly fine about it, as she was.
