Hey, So I've been thinking a lot about coming out recently as I'm finally in a reasonably sound frame of mind about the whole thing. I was thinking about coming out to 2 of my best friends via letter. I'm thinking about sitting them both down together and making them read a rather lengthy letter, so that I can get everything out that I want to say. I'm not very open or emotional so I think this would be the easiest way and is less likely to end with me breaking down or anything. Has anyone used this method and do you have any advise? To be honest there's a good chance I'll chicken out.
Coming out by letter is a great idea. I came out to my parents by letter. There is a whole section in the resources with coming out letters. http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php Good luck!
I came out to my best friends by letter because I kept chickening out too! Plus we all go to college in different states so were only together over the summer and I just couldn't wait any longer. From my experience it went great!!! They each called me when they got it and we talked for hours. I was so glad I did it.
I didn't even know that link existed! That's a really good idea...I think I should submit the letter I wrote to my mom for mothers day---rather story I wrote for mom. I know it's around this forum somewhere. ...Anyways, letters are a good idea. The best idea is being with them when they read the letter. Sounds like a plan, man! hahaah
I'll always recommend letters to people who find it tough to come out face-to-face (which is most people!) As you said, it means you won't break down, you won't forget something important, and you can make as many drafts as you feel you need. In my eyes, the most important things to include are that you're sure it's not a phase, you're telling them now because you trust them, and that you're still the same person you were before you came out to them.
Same thing i was going to say In true persuasive letter format, make sure to: a) Start off happy b) End off happy c) End every paragraph...happy! The end and beginning of every paragraph are the important lines. This is what will make the most lasting impression on your reader, so make sure to stick your important and encouraging words there Also, i would try and predict possible questions BEFORE the reader can ask them. Things like "What if he gets aids and dies?" or "What if its just a phase" or "What if the right girl comes along one day?" or "But the bible says its a sin!" or whatever it may be Use judgment and knowledge of your parents to predict what they would think while reading.
I would just say the other good thing about a letter is that they have to read everything you have to say before they necessarily can say anything, especially if you are not there with them when they read it (but you can be there with them if you want, just request that they read all of it before starting to speak to you.) If you try to tell them everything orally, they could easily stop you mid-sentence and make you perhaps lose focus on everything you wanted to say.
Writing a letter is definitely a good way to go if you just want to do it, but don't quite feel comfortable saying it. In your case, you are having them read it in person, which is great too. Just remember that if you plan to use the letters often, you have to take into account that the person who you are sending it to may want to talk with you afterward. Make sure you are available for them over phone or something, so that they can reach you and discuss it if they feel the need.
