I can't just be friends with girls anymore. This has become a huge problem for me. It would be nice if we COULD just be friends, but it just never works anymore. The girl always quickly starts to develop feelings for me (which she probably already had feelings, but she simply thought that we were both "playing the naïve game" for a little while and hoping to gain "something more" out of the friendship in the long term), but she dosen't know that really, we will ONLY be just friends--a platonic relationship--not a "friends with benefits" relationship, either. I hate this, because I eventually have to let good friendships go, because I won't be coming out anytime soon, more than likely. And a lot of times, they are nice girls. Some of them are actually very attractive. So then, there are the questions: Why are you single? You are a smart, nice-looking guy. Women are looking all over for guys like you--you can find anyone?? Can someone relate to this? I realize it can be difficult and frustrating. How do you handle these situations? :eusa_doh: Thanks.
Same thing is happening to me. It's very frustrating... I don't know what is going through their heads, but I keep wondering how they can't figure out what is going on. I like the girl as a friend, and she may be attractive, but I have no interest. I just avoid the person or something and go on with my life. Everything goes okay, and I keep wondering when will someone finally figure something out?
Exactly, fanfreek. You know she's trying to reason things in her head. So the only solution for me is avoidance, too.
In 7th Grade, a friend of mine developed a crush on me. She never spilled the beans, but other friends did. It was weird and kinda sad, because every time I spoke with her I knew she was thinking of me in a different way. I didn't want to reject her, but being honest would've implied coming out to her and that was definitely out my prospects. I chose to play 'naïve' and act as if I didn't notice her feelings towards me. Then I moved to another school, and altough we've kept in touch over the years, I think her feelings for me have subsided. And yeah, my parents would go [Insert annoying cooing tone] 'oh, I think she likes you, is she going to be your girlfriend?'
I have a best friend. Here's our story: he is a guy. We are best friends for about two years. Last spring we sort of got together, because he said that he is starting to feel something for me. We are best friends and we understand each other very well, we can even finish each other sentences and like that. When we were together I understood that we can't love each other. I didn't feel anything that could be called "love" in a way you usually understand it. I liked him a lot as a friends and that is all. We where together for a very short period of time and then broke up. When we "broke up" we talked about it (well, later on) and... well, yeah, right now he is wiht a guy and I'm so very happy about his happyness! ^_^ We are still best friends, we trust each other, talk to each other about everything and stuff. Deon, in your case, well, I don't even know what to suggest. I mean, me and my best friend are still friends because we admited that we don't (or can't) feel that way for each other, but it is much harder when one of the parties feel something. At the moment I have a similar problem. There is this guy that is being very nice, friendly to me. He asked me on a date, and I just made up a stupid excuse, I didn't want to say that I don't want to go, because I don't really want a guy being my boyfriend at the moment, because I have a girlfriend that I'm really starting to fall in love with. I'm trying to be nice to this person, but I know that someday I will have to turn him donw, if he will continue to ask me out. I don't know... maybe you should find someone who is not into guys and try to be friends with a girl like that? ^^
Lumi: The situation with your male friend only made it that much easier for you both, given the fact the both of you are not exclusively hetero. Now you both can be there for one another. I consider you both to be lucky. As for me, the girls that I encounter all happen to be into guys. Maybe one day I'll meet a girl, that will not be. And hopefully, we will be able to be honest and share experiences with each other like you and your male friend. That would be nice.
Duh !!!! im a cheerleader. And girls sayy......awww stephen...ur too cute to be single...and you deserve to be with someone...and its not right that your hidding all your love away from us girls...Ugh.... if i can just say grow a dik and get rid of the tits then ok lol
Reality is not every girl is going to develop feelings for you Not every single boy i see i go "GAGAGAGAGAGA" and want to get in his pants. Im quite sure the same goes for straight girls and you. I would not cut off all female friendships cause you had one or two people fall for you. Alot of girls, believe it or not, just want to be friends with you. If your current female friends want to either date you or nothing, thats there choice. If you clearly say "I just want to be friends" to them then the rest is all up to them. They either choose to stay friends, or to leave. It really is as simple as these six words. "I just want to be friends". I dont think you CAN be more clear with a girl than that. Any feelings she still has for you are for HER to deal with. All you have to do is keep on being friends with her and you have done your part.
something similar happened to me there was this girl who started talking to me she seemed to like me but i'm not the rude type so i had to tell her some way within time i told her and surely enough i was right she told me she had a small crush on me but now she is practically my best friend but if i get the sense that a girl likes me i would tell them that i am not interested in a relationship or anything in the moment or if i can trust them enough i would tell them
Weird. I've NEVER had this problem. Even when I was closeted, even when I was clueless. I made plenty of female friends. I can only remember one who made a play for me, and I just told her I was horribly flattered but not interested, she took it really well, and life went on. Maybe I'm just too ugly. Lex
I completely know how you feel. Last week was spent mostly crying and worrying about losing a friend because he'd developed feelings for me and I didn't know how to tell him I wasn't interested without hurting him. (Things are still sort of awkward....) Not to mention there's another guy who's driving me insane because I can't give him a reason why I'm not interested in "dating" (well, dating guys technically, but I didn't tell him that) right now. I hate it. It especially hurts because some of them are really nice and I know that I probably WOULD date them if I wasn't gay, you know? But I'm just not interested, and it sucks. And YES. I absolutely can't stand it when people ask things like that. My mom did that constantly before I came out to her, and so did my brother. Like, "Hey, ______ is so nice. Why won't you go out with him?" or "You never date anyone...is something wrong with you?" Those comments were actually what first told me it was time to come out to them. Basically, long story short, I understand how you're feeling. I wish it wasn't this hard to be friends with the opposite gender without constantly worrying about that sort of thing.
Just act normal. If she is sending you signals or flirting with you, act like you don't notice and just carry on normally. Pretty soon, she'll give up on you. After that, they'll either stay friends with you or you'll just never hear from her again.:icon_wink
I have this problem with all but one of my male friends. I just find it to be very annoying, and inconvenient to have to distance myself from them because they're thinking more with what's in their pants than with what's in their brain. And it's even worse when the only contact that they have with me is a 'hug', to try to cop a feel. I agree with Roswell. Act normal.
Hmm...well I would just tell them your not interested. For me, I guess I just feel its just like that for us only in the reverse. I get crushes on my straight friends(granted i dont really have many gay guy friends), and I just have to work through it. If the friendship matters they'll do the same when you don't express any interest.
Hi, I can really relate to you. Every guy I have befriended, has developed feelings for me. The only guy who hasn't done this, is my best friend's boyfriend. It feels horrible, because all these people are truly nice, good people. I've run out of excuses as to why I don't want to go out with some of these people. Right now there is someone who really likes me. He's smart, funny, interesting, good looking and really nice. Everybody's been talking for months about how we should get together and whilst I think he's amazing...there are no feelings there and I can't take him along for a ride. I'm not sure about advice, because I haven't found the solution yet either. Good luck
Mannix I seem to relate. There are decent guys out there... it just doesn't click and no phermones attract me to them. So gals it is. As for you, Deon1, I'd be flattered, but let them know where you stand and that you can't love them the way they deserve to be loved/cared for. Let them know you can help them cruise for suitable guys though. That could be a fun hobby together.
