This is mainly me venting, and curious if anyone else has experienced this. Since I've started to come out to more and more people, I'm feeling an increasing sense of loneliness, well, that might not be the right word. Its not that people are avoiding me now or anything like that. When I was closeted, the concept of interacting with other gay people didn't really ever phase me. I hadn't even really accepted myself yet. I knew who I was, but I didn't necessarily embrace it. But here's where I hit my problem; now that I'm out, I haven't met a single other gay guy. The college I attend is small, maybe 1500 people at most. There's no club scene in the city I'm in, that's not even really my style anyway. It would be cool to be able to hang out with someone that has my, erm, taste. Ya I can talk with my gal friends, but its not really the same. Or maybe it is, I guess I wouldn't know! Its not even that I want someone to play ' hot or not' or that sort of thing with. Just someone else that's gay to hang out with! I guess what I'm trying to say is that now that I'm pretty open, I would love another gay guy to just hang out with. I love this place because of that. Its cool being able to interact (well, I lurk more than interact :rolleyes with other gay people. Especially now that I've really accepted myself for being gay. That's about it, like I said it was more of me just venting and getting that off my chest. Has anyone else felt like this though? Not necessarily lonely, lonely isn't the right word. Or maybe it is, I don't know!
I would say your feeling more "Alone in the world" than lonely right? You have plenty of family, friends, ect. all around you...BUT...none of these people are gay people, and definitely none of them are potential relationship partners. Is that more of what your thinking of? Cause thats exactlly what im feeling. Well ok, i must confess i have like no friends, gay OR straight, but i still get what your talking about. My university has the crappiest LGBT network ever, they dont make an effort to reach out at all and since they only have one meeting during my class, there goes all hope. They dont have events or anything so yea. As for my town, im the only "out" person anyone knows. If other people here are gay, they sure dont want anyone to know. Ive heard stories of people who went to my highschool before me coming out, but it was always long after they escape the city And im guessing all you want is just some interaction with other gay people in real life, a sense of belonging and acceptance. Seeing as i want the same thing, and have yet to find it, all i can do is give ya a virtual hug (*hug*) and say "I totally understand".
Yes, loneliness is the right word. I feel the same way, given the fact that I have no gay friends (my age) to talk with. And some circumstances in my life right now makes me feel even worse. The fact that I am slowly coming out to people makes me feel quite good, but having a core of gay friends or a relationship would be the only thing that is really killing me, besides my freaking family. All I can say is to hold on and to meet more friends. It's what I'm trying to do, meet more people and maybe one of them is gay and will become a good friend, or even relationship material
Yeah, I totally get where you are coming from. I wish I had some magical advice that made it easier to find other gay folk but right now I don't have any gay guy friends at university. (small - conservative - and no GLBT groups). Still, I gotto believe with time things will work themselves out.
Dude ..if i can find a gay guy around here... ill Frech kiss a girl!!!! i only dated outside my town!!! I need someone like me around to...i feel what your saying!!!(*hug*)
Wow Greg, you pretty much said exactly what I was trying to. Thanks for the hug! Right back at ya'! (*hug*) I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that seems to feel this way. Not that I like the fact that other people have a problem, its just always nice to hear you're not alone with your problems! Jonah, I definitely agree with your advice. It'll just take some time for it all come together. Hopefully, less time than more. :lol:
Yeah, I see what y'all are saying. I feel pretty similar. Thing of it is though, unlike what some of you have said about your universities, I go to a campus that is 45,000 strong, and is more or less liberal. The GLBT program here is pretty developed from what I can see, and I know where it is (I think) I just dont see myself ever going there. But I dont really care. I'll find my own way. I also do have a few gay male friends (I think one of them has tried to come onto me before) but, I was definitely not interested. I'll make my move when I want to.
I cant say I feel the same way, because I work with 3 gay guys. But I do feel like im the only gay girl, so i can understand that part of it. Is there any nearby big cities with some sort of gay scene, because if you drive there's always the option of driving there and spending the day/night on a weekend or day off of work or something.
I know what you're going through. You just feel that now that you are making this a part of your life, you need to meet someone who you share this in common with, someone you can talk to about it. Where I live there are PLENTY of gay people. But the problem is I just don't know how to meet them. The GLBT group here is okay, but not many of the people who go to the meetings are my age. I did meet one guy though, and we see each other twice a week for an hour or so. I just feel like I need a friend who I can hang out with a lot more. It can definitely be hard to meet other gay people. I don't know how long you have been out, but you have to remember these things take time. Things will work out. Just get out there and meet new people.
I went through this as well, when I lived out in the country and was the only gay guy in Town. But I've since moved to the nearest city and made some friends. You just need to be surrounded by your fellow fellows
I'll tell you what I did when I felt like that. I put an ad online in the classifieds! How lame is that?!? I said I was a gay dad looking to chat and talk about my situations with other gay dads who might be in the same spot. And several people replied. One pointed me to the Gay Fathers of Toronto support group (who knew!?!?) and others offered themselves up to talk. One of them I'm still good friends with now - 2 years later! So you never know. Just be completely and totally honest about what you're looking for, and I'll bet there's someone else in your situation who would take you up on the invitation. Good luck!
good advice Jim they have that here as well was thinking of giving them a jingle,just need to build up the courage alittle more.
