So I'm 13 years old and I've been contemplating coming out to my mom a lot recently. Our holiday break started this week so I've had a lot more free time but still not much to catch her alone. I feel like it's definitely time. I know she'll be accepting because she openly voices her positive opinions about LGBT+. I would have come out a lot earlier but I don't want to mess up the way I did last year. Long story short, last year I thought I was FTM transgender and came out to her through email. I want to be able to say it to her face. I want to say it out loud. I have a counselor who's helping me because I've always had a communication block. It seems like my brain always knows what to say but my mouth can't form the words. Anyways, I want to catch her when we're in the car or something but unfortunately because it's break we aren't in the car a lot. I feel like it'll be a huge weight off my chest if I tell her. She most likely knows already, I've dropped not-so-subtle hints. Such as - when driving to a location about 5 hours from my house for a soccer game, we talked for about 2 hours about everything, excluding sexuality. I told her about my friend who believed that I was a sinner but I didn't tell her why that friend believed I was a sinner. I told her that I realized a lot of things about myself and I finally know who I am. She asked me who I am and I said that I can't say it out loud yet. I know she's supportive and I think she already knows. Advice for how I should make sure that I don't back out?
i'm not sure if this will help, but you can try writing something out beforehand – nothing long or fancy, necessarily, but something as casual or formal as you would like. it can either be an outline for what you'd like to say, just a couple of bullet points, or you can actually write out what you'd like to say, word for word. or something in between. if you aren't sure this will work, you can try doing the same for something else. like if you've been meaning to ask her if you can borrow some money, write out a script for that beforehand and see if it helps. a script will make your ideas seem more concrete, which helps some people who have trouble communicating to communicate. note that this isn't the same as coming out through email. saying it out loud and directly to her is important, but (and i'm not sure if this is true for you) email seems appealing to many for one of two reasons: one, it's more detached so it feels less important, and/or two, you can check what you're saying better. writing it out beforehand gives you the benefit of less improvisation without the other person feeling like they aren't important. see if it works for you! i can't say for sure how much it will help you, as i don't know every detail of your situation, but i hope it helps
Thanks! The thing is that I want her to know that I know that I can trust her. I want her to know that I've changed since last winter when I couldn't communicate with anyone. I know an email is appealing but I want to be able to say it to her face. I'll try the outline thing though.
