Coming out to my high school students?

I just finished student teaching yesterday as a high school art teacher. Throughout my entire time at the high school I was involved with the school's GSA and two of my students were involved in the club. I had a bunch of gay/queer students and one trans student in my classes. I knew of several other students who were likely going through questioning. I knew this because I taught two social justice lessons that involved students to identify causes/issues that they care about. The school I worked in was LGBTQ friendly and I know that the principal is gay, although he is not open about it to much of the school or students.
The students who are out of the closet are usually comfortable expressing it or making it known.
I felt that I had to keep my identity as a lesbian a secret even though it was a topic that was discussed by both straight and gay students. I'm not very obviously gay at all. I have never had a teacher come out of the closet before, although I know that I likely had a few gay teachers while I was a student. Two of the girls involved in the GSA in my class guessed that I was, and I gave subtle "blink-and-you-miss-it" hints to them which they picked up on. For instance, when we were discussing color theory one day one of my gay students said to me (after seeing me at the GSA meeting the day before), "I love rainbows". I responded back with, "Ohhh I really LOVE rainbows too" and gave her the stare. It was really painful for me to keep it a secret from my 4-5 gay and trans students and there were time I wanted to blurt it out but I felt that I could not in a professional environment like a school.
My question is, when I get my own classroom as an art teacher (preferably in a high school), would it matter to you if your teacher came out to you? Would it impact you in any way and if so how? How much risk would I be putting myself in by identifying as lesbian in a school?
My preferable comfort level with being out of the closet in a high school would be for students to know on an as needed basis to queer students, or just to generally drop it on conversations when I feel like it.

 

Thanks! I found this really helpful and I totally agree! I like the idea of being a role model for what a gay/queer person can look like. A lot (if not all) queer students don't have adult role models in their life who identify as queer, or have people they can turn to for advice.

---------- Post added 22nd Dec 2016 at 12:25 AM ----------

Thanks! Very true, I considered the idea of making my classroom a "Safe space" but I like the idea of helping teens with LGBTQ issues or coming out in general, I think that could be a really great resource.

 

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Speaking from the point of view of a fellow educator (I'm an elementary school counselor), I would definitely recommend seeking advice on this from your colleagues and possibly even your principal (if you feel they are a trustworthy and supportive person). On a personal level, I definitely feel that being out and open does a lot of good for you and the people around you. I would love for everyone to be able to be open and honest, no matter their job or family or anything else.

However, I know that when it comes to education, specifically public education, it gets more tricky with more moving parts involved (fellow educators, principals, students, parents, community, district-level staff, etc). You have to not only know the attitudes of your population of students, but also your population of families. Even if your district and administration is supportive of you being open (and most are, since it's discrimination in most places otherwise) and even if your students are supportive (which, for high school, talking about LGBT issues would be far more appropriate than it generally is in elementary school), you still have to contend with the attitudes of your students' families and the community at large. I wish I could say that everyone everywhere would be welcoming and open, but we all know that's unfortunately not the case, at least not everywhere in the US yet.

So, that's why I would recommend asking around to some trusted colleagues. Find other LGBT teachers and ask them about their experiences with coming out to classrooms. Ask your principal for his/her thoughts on the matter. Ask experienced educators in the building about the attitudes of your students' families. Get a feel for the waters and then decide how to proceed. Of course, in the end, it's your decision to make based on the available information. (*hug*)

In my case, I'm in my second year as a school counselor at an elementary school, and I just came out to my principal right at the end of last school year (and shortly thereafter, most of my colleagues on Facebook). As for my students, it hasn't really come up as a topic yet (especially since I'm single right now), but I'll be seeking my principal's advice if I feel it might come up in the future. He's been very supportive of me thus far, and I think he would be able to give me good advice. I also have other school counselors in the district that I can ask about this and get their thoughts as well. I'm lucky that being a school counselor means that I have more leeway in setting up a "safe space" in my office for students and can thus show my support for students and families who are LGBT (and other minority groups) at my school.

Sorry for giving such a long response! I've been thinking a lot about this myself lately, and I wanted to share what I had thought about so far. [/QUOTE]

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! This was super helpful! In student teaching I had asked a group of teachers what they thought of the matter and they all chopped it down to personal choice. I also asked the GSA club what they would think about a gay teacher coming out and received positive responses. But you are right, the reality is that I am going to have pressure from all different sides even if colleagues and my students are supportive.
I do want to work in a high school preferably, and I have not thought a lot about coming out in an elementary or middle school environment (I'm K-12). I think that if I did work with younger kids it would only become a challenge when I enter into a serious relationship and I am not going to want to hide it. I thought that one way I could approach this would be to (I'm single), have a picture of my future girlfriend on my desk and when a student asks about it to tell them. It is really sticky though, and I know that I have had gay/lesbian teachers before who have not come out of the closet. My high school principal is a lesbian and in the closet to students - I realized this 5 years after leaving high school. My high school art teacher is asexual (I think).
I may be able to come out to some of my former high school teachers and ask them. I went to a private school however and the vibe was very different from public. But really, I am just going to have to find out once I get a job in a school. It's a shame that schools still work in an old-school mentality in terms of issues such as these.