My story : started about a year ago with my dad finding gay pornography on my computer (let's be honest, what teenager doesn't watch it?) and asking me if I was gay. I ended up lying through gritted teeth because my family is VERY conservative and Christian I just said it was a small phase I went through years ago but that now I'm straight but thankfully my dad never told a soul about his findings. Months later I pulled my mom out to the side and told her that I was gay. Immediately she began to cry while saying things like "I can't take this right now." or "how could you do this?" and towards the end I messed up and told her that basically that this might be just a phase. Afterwards she constantly brought me to church groups and prayed that "God would put me on the right path.". Weeks later I was working out with my brother and on the way home he asked if I was gay and I lied and told him no. Each and everyone he brings up how I'm doing with girls I tell him fake stories about a girl I met over the summer and that I might be interested in her. And about three months from today I finally was able to go out (secretly) with a guy and even form a relationship with him. Unfortunately, due to me not wanting to come out we ended up breaking up about a month ago because he didn't want to hide us being together just because I was afraid of fully coming out. After the breakup I did end up coming out to my sister(who also is gay) and a couple of friends so I am trying and so far all their responses were good. The question: How can I come out after doing all this? I'm stuck at where to even start at the moment.:eusa_liar
Does your sister have any advice for dealing with your parents? You could always just do it as if it were the first time you were coming out to them and if they mention the previous time and how you backtracked, you could just say that, in the past, bad reactions made you question the wisdom of coming out but now you don't feel that way. You're doing this for you and not anyone else. You'd be disappointed if people can't get on board with it but this is your life, not theirs.
The best thing to do, if you want to come out is to just come clean and be honest. It might be hard but it's way less complicated than trying to explain everything.
I basically did the same thing. I eventually came out after lying for the third time. Do it, and explain why you lied. They'll understand, if not now, later.
First, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that type of reaction. It's overtly dramatic and probably semi-traumatizing. No one deserves that. I hope you know that and know that your mom's reaction is eye roll worthy. I almost want to say it sounds super Long Island, but idk what part you live in. Could imagine the super rich part being that way. Bring the fainting couch!! What others have suggested is good, but I also want to add that if you don't feel safe, there's no need to come out right now - to them. Maybe you want to wait until you're moved out. I don't know what your current situation is, but don't put yourself in a position to be treated badly daily if that's something that could happen. Come out whenever you feel ready.
I lied about being straight so many times to so many people. I knew my parents would take it badly and I was scared. I held on to the lie for as long as I possibly could - and I wasted so much time because of worrying about how they would take it. They did take it badly. But the bad part of being out is so tiny compared to the openness and lightness I feel now. If you feel that it is time for you to be out and that it is the right thing for you - do it. In the end it is your life and you have to live it!
