Im going to apologize in advance for how long this post is going to be. Ive contemplated joining this forum for about 4 months now and I think its finally time to since I kind of came out to my cousin today. She said she was fine with it and she kind of already knew and I guess its pretty obvious actually. She is the first person i've talked to about this and while its a relief i'm also really afraid. Firstly, although she promised she wouldn't say anything i'm afraid it might slip out. My dads side of the family are strict muslims and I know I wont be accepted. I know his extended family wont accept me and will try to change who I am but I am terrified that my dad will hate me. We have not had the best relationship in the past so this would just make everything worse. I'm not to worried about my moms side as they seem to be accepting. I don't want to disappoint my dad. I've only just started to have a good relationship with him and I don't want to throw that away. I feel like him having a possibly (most likely) gay daughter would bring shame to his name and will probably ruin a lot of our connections outside the family. I was planning on coming out to my parents and when and if i ever get a girlfriend as perhaps that would validate what I am feeling. This brings me on to my second fear. Im afraid this is all just a phase (i've been questioning for about 3 years now) and I will end up coming out only to find out I was wrong about my sexuality. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to get a girlfriend first if not only to prove it to them but to my self as well. Is it normal for teenagers to question for this long and is there a chance that i'm entirely wrong about who I am? I think my fear of embarrassment if i'm wrong about all of this is the worst of all. My mother has repeatedly asked me if I'm gay and I just kept denying it to the point where she has dropped it. The problem with all of this is I want to come out! I accept my self fully already for whoever I am i'm just afraid others wont. I don't want to upset anyone . Any help to calm my fears on any of these points would be appreciated. Many thanks.
Hi, It is completely normal to question who you are. I questioned my sexuality for many years. I'm sure your cousin won't say anything that you don't want said. I understand how you feel about your father. I thought that my dad would not accept me either, but he did. It takes time to adjust. The most important thing is feeling comfortable with who you are- whatever that may be. You'll figure it out with time. <3
Thanks moose, I just dont want to disappoint my dad. Im sure over time he would accept me as well. Its all just a little overwhelming right now. I'll be sure to make sure i'm 100% comfortable with myself before moving on to what others will think.
