Well, I left my FB open on my mom's phone and I totally forgot about it. She found out I was gay by looking at my chat with another boy I was dating. I don't really know what to say to her. She was in shock at the beggining but I think that now she is ok. I found her kinda crying when I came home and I asked her what was wrong. She told me she didn't know how to handle this or talk to me about this. She ask me directly if I was really gay and I told him yes, that I was. Fortunately she ended up being very comprehensive. She told me several times crying that I was his son and no matter what she we will love me. So in that sense it wasn't so bad. She asked me sereval other stuff including the boy I am dating now and my best friend who I had some issues with before. The thing is that after all we talked she thinks that I decided to become gay somehow, I am trying to tell her that I didn't decided this, that this is who I am and that I've always been gay but somehow she doesn't believe that. She thinks I am choosing this life but I've never choosed anything. I don't know how to explain this to her so she can understand me. Thanks.
Hey Diego93, I'm sorry that you were accidentally Outed like this, but it sounds like your Mom took it fairly well and you just have to move forward with this. You can probably find some literature online for her to read that may help her understand your sexuality better. I'm guessing that she doesn't speak English, but if she does, there is a good resource on the PFLAG website that you might want to download for her. You might want to check it out for yourself, even if she doesn't speak English. https://www.pflag.org/resource/our-children Regardless, it sounds like you got her initial reaction and now she is in denial. She will likely go through the five stages of the grieving process (denial-anger- bargaining-depression-acceptance) at her own rate. That's only fair. Think about how long you had on your own journey to understanding and acceptance of your sexuality. She will need some time. The best thing you can do right now is to be patient and be insistent with her that you fully understand that you are gay and that sexual preference is not a choice. Just some thoughts.
Thank you very much for your response Quantumreality. Well I think she is obviously pretty confused. She really never could have thought that I was gay. I look like a "normal straight guy" I guess. Thanks god she is, overall, very open mind on some aspects. I talk to her yesterday and she asked me again about my feelings over boys. She started infering that I could just be going trough a phase or that sometimes we like so much our friends that we start to develop deep feelings towards them but I explained to her that that was not my case. That I started to become sexually attracted to boys since I was more or les 13 or 14 but I kept it to myself for fear of rejection. Anyways, she kind of understood that, but I feel she is lacking a lot of information that might help her understand me more. Thankfully she does speak english very well so I'll give a look to the PFLAG website and print some info so she can take a look as well. Thanks again.
When I was 17 I left a string of MSN messages with a girl I was online chatting to open and my mum found it. She asked me straight to my face about it and I panicked and lied. She never believed me obviously but we went on for 10 years of pretending I was straight. I mean really pretending, dating guys and everything! Took me 10 years to finally come out to her - so nothing but respect to you for owning it in the moment!!!! You will be so happy now that you can be yourself - I wish I could turn back time and been as brave as you were in that moment!
Thanks for your kind words mquir4, I think I didn't had any choice but to tell her the truth. I also had been lying to her when I was dating this guy everytime I went out to meet him I would tell her that I was dating a girl, I even made up the name and everything. Before that everytime I would hang out with some of my female friends she would ask me if I was dating some of them and I would lie to her over and over again saying yes. I think this time it was pretty ovious and I just had enough of all this pretending thing. Also, as time passed I was getting more cold with her so I think this was a great opportunity to start over and become closer with to my mom.
