Hello everyone. So I'm just going to jump right into this. I'm 26 and earlier this year I finally decided to stop fighting myself and admit that I'm gay. My family has always made little comments here and there about how being gay was bad and sometimes it almost seemed like they were dropping hints. I once broke something that belonged to my grandmother and when I called to tell her, I lead with "I have something to tell you that you aren't going to like" and her immediate response was "Oh god you're not gay are you?" So in February I lost my mom to cancer and it jump started a lot of self reflection. I decided that family is out of the question right now, my friends are more open minded. And so I came out to my two oldest and best friends to which they said, "Well duh." And "And?" Then came a few more. All fine with it. Now I have just 3 more that I love and want them to know, one of which is gay and the other is bi and for some reason I just can't bring myself to tell them. It's like I'm stuck. If I tell them, then that solidifies it for me, and it just leaves my family finding out and that terrifies me even more. I don't know what's going on with me.
Perhaps the fact that telling these final 3 friends will solidify the fact that you are gay is the problem. Are you sure that you are fully comfortable with being gay yourself? If were you I would maybe take some time to be out to myself fully before anyone else. Just remember that you are a person who deserves respect and love. Anyone that cant see that isn't worth your time. I can see that your friends are really great and seem like they will accept you no matter what. In the end I would just make sure to be 100% accepting of myself before coming out to anyone else. Its difficult to see people accepting you when you dont yourself. You will get there in the end. Just remember you have all of us here on the EC to talk to if necessary. Good luck my friend .
Hey man, I totally know what you're talking about regarding solidifying it. It's almost like you can change your mind until you reach a point where you can't walk it back. You're right on that precipice where telling them will commit your course of action. I know that place well. When I started feeling like that, I went inward. I went back to my basic truth. I am gay. I know it. No matter what else is going on in my life, or what else will happen in the future, I know for a fact that I am gay. So, the truth is that the solidity of my truth isn't in telling others. It's in myself, in my own mind where I know that I'm gay. That line of thinking helped me overcome this idea that coming out to others was the turning point. It wasn't. Accepting myself was the turning point. That's the real solidity of accepting my sexuality. Telling others is about living authentically. I hope that helps you. Take care. ride:
