Coming Out?

I kind of took what some may consider the easier way out when I first started coming out to friends. I basically checked to see when they were online and sent them a facebook message. I started a conversation and then basically just said there was something I needed to say and came out. It then gave me the confidence to casually tell some of my other friends in person. I never really had a bad experience. All my friends were very supportive- but I think the reason that this was the case is that I chose to tell friends that i was close to and felt would be supportive. I'm sure your friend won't take it badly.

 

It was easier with one of my friends because he had come out to me as gay and he assumed I was a lesbian and kind of teased and asked because at that point I'd actually been secretly dating a girl for a year.

Another friend guessed as well. For those two I basically just confirmed that I'm gay.

Another friend was more surprised, but she wasn't rude at all. I just texted her and said "I have to tell you something..its kind of a secret, Alison and I are dating" she just "really?!?!?" After that we actually just went back to normal conversation.

 

I came out in different ways. My close friends I usually sat down with one-on-one. I felt I had to do some explaining as many I had known for 10+ years and since they had known me to date several girls in the past, I had some explaining to do. With other friends I did a massive facebook status update and that was it.

My relationship with most friends actually improved after coming out, and I was accepted by everyone. I realize I'm in Canada in a very gay-friendly city and it certainly isn't like that for A LOT of gay people around the world. Since coming out I've mellowed out considerably and many friends have commented how much easier going I am and more fun to hang out with. When you're not concerned with who will find out, you ease up considerably. Coming out certainly hasn't solved all of my issues - not by a long shot - but I absolutely helped.

 

I'm only out to two people and I didn't plan on telling them that day at all. We were having a conversation, one of them asked if I like a guy at school, I said I was actually gay, and they reacted with "'k cool. are you gonna finish your food?" The only reason my heart wasn't beating out of my chest is because I didn't have any time to think about the possible consequences at all.

 

Almost all of the friends I've come out to I came out to over text. The first couple times it was scary but I live in an extremely progressive area so almost all of my friends are supportive. Like Confusedmoose, I chose the friends that I thought would be the most supportive first. Now I just kind of come out to people when I feel like it. I told one of my friends about a week ago and he just said "ok how does this concern me though". All of my friends haven't been surprised which I don't blame them because I kinda act gay. I'm really masculine and I dress like a guy and have short hair so I'm really butch. It was expected but almost all of them, my sister expected it and none of my friends acted surprised which I guess made it easier to come out to others knowing that they probably already suspected it.

 

Most of my friends are non-heterosexual (my best friend being aromantic asexual) so they all took it well. I feel like even straight people these days are accepting though. You'll never know until you try. And if they can't accept you, maybe they aren't the right friend for you....

 

I read on another site some years ago that coming out was like a nervous person putting in a contact lens for the first time. You're like "No! No! No! I can't do it, no! no!" Then it's in and you can see fine, then you're like "Oh......".

Whether it is actually like that I don't know.

 

I never had the courage to do it untill I found out that a friend of mine had a boyfriend. Him being much like me, he inspired me to come out. At that moment one of my best friends was there so I told him. I knew that I had to push it trough immediately because at that moment I knew I could do it, maybe later on I would get scared again. Also, because some of my best friends I only see once every while, I wanted them to know it from me, not from someone else so I sent a text message to them and they all were very suprised but took it very well. My housemates I told in person. All my other friends just found out by others telling them or me saying it casually.

I feel like I got a lot more friends now then before I came out and the ones I already had love me just as much as before or even love me more. I feel like people really appreciate my openness. I live in what is probably the most gay-friendly country in the world so it might have been easier for me.

 

My friends knew a year and a half before anyone else. I just told them I liked girls, too, and they were all "oh, okay" and we ate food

 

I came out to all my school friends as a bi girl when I was 14. For the first few people (half a dozen or more, I said, "Would you mind/Would you treat me differently if I was something like bisexual?" "No, course not." "Well, I am." "Alright then. I guess love is love, and all that."

I told everyone by telling a school gossip on purpose when he asked me about boyfriends, and I mentioned girlfriends too. He spread it around just as I had expected. Lots of people had questions at first -- some just curious, some unsure what bisexuality was, lots asking who I thought was hot, a few very rude or invasive, none intending to be harmful -- but it died down in a few days, and that was that.

 

It was rather dramatic since I couldn't actually say the words because if I lost her it'd be the worst. She ended up asking if I was gay after about twenty minutes of this and I broke into tears but she was very supportive. Yours will probably go more smoothly than mine in terms of the coming out part.

If you're worried about the reaction you could try to drop hints or bring up something LGBT+ to see their reaction.

 

Well I'm not even sure about my sexuality, but I have talked about how I like girls to one of my friends who is gay, and he was very understanding. It was something like 4 in the morning and we were watching Priscilla Queen Of The Desert and got onto the topic of being gay, he mentioned how he's never ever felt any interest of that sort in women and asked about me... I explained how I don't want to fully come out until I'm sure and I've come to terms with it myself. It was good to talk to someone about it, since I feel like otherwise if you're unsure about yourself and you don't share your thoughts it doesn't really get you anywhere...