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Tempted to come out just to tick someone off?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Just1Dude, Dec 27, 2016.

  1. Just1Dude

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    I'm sure a lot of others have mirrored this feeling, but have you ever wanted to come out to someone just to hack them off?

    I have a high school friend that lives 5 hours away from me. We had a pretty tight group in high school. She was kind of the black sheep of the group and when we all parted ways after school she sorta got lost in the hustle.

    I moved back to my hometown after college. So, whenever she comes to visit her family we usually go grab a bite to eat and chat. She usually always lets me know in advance though. Well today she texted me at noon and I was at work. Asking me to take her out to eat and something about a game here at the school. Well, my car is being a pain in the butt (sigh a whole different story there). I also didn't get her message until about 4pm because ya know.. work and such. Well I texted her back and told her about my car, but said if you don't mind my car dinging and flashing like a nutjob then yeah lets go out to eat.

    All she said was "oh okay.... I figured as much." Then she said "My grandparents are meeting me here. Thanks maybe next time. "

    Now when she said "I figured as much" that means she is flying off the handle ticked off and thinks I'm lying and dodging. Lol. When I read that I got pretty ticked as well. I don't mind visiting, but we are in our 30's now.. not in our teens. We each have work lives and home lives (well some of us do LOL). Sorry I can't drop everything at the last minute to wine and dine you.

    In regards to the title:

    I am so so so close to coming out to public. I have my immediate family told.. I am just waiting on the right time to speak with my nephew about it and a few close friends. I also will have to find a new job. After that boom, no cares. This woman is very religious and pretty judgmental. She also had a huge (kinda scary) crush on me in High School that ended... oh so dramatic. So, right then and there over that text today, I wanted to be like "You didn't figure that I was gay too did you? Go suck on that and sit in syrup" (Thank you Bob's Burgers).

    But I told myself no, no way that isn't right. I have to admit thinking of her face when she saw it would be priceless and made me gigglesnort.

    Yet again, my posts don't really go anywhere. Just sort of a vent and a "please tell me I'm not alone" type of scenario/post.
     
  2. Aeon Magus

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    Welllllll... if she was hounding my ass whenever she gets back in the area to go on "dates" not knowing that, like her, I prefer the D, I'd probably explode on her too. :confused:
    But, as she only goes out with you when she's there again, maybe she doesn't see it as a "date" but rather some time out with a friend.

    [ cough ] Forgot about the question.. Uh haha...? O.O

    Anyway, no, I would not come out to someone just to get them angry.
     
    #2 Aeon Magus, Dec 27, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2016
  3. Creativemind

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    She's acting like a 14 year old with her passive aggressive nonsense. I don't answer texts immediately either.

    Does she still like you that way? Even if she's just a friend, coming out might get her off your back. But only do it if you feel ready.
     
  4. Just1Dude

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    I'm not sure what she thinks of me past being a friend, but she knows that I want to keep it strictly as friends. I made that very well known, probably too well known, in High School and college. The trip to eat and the game were definitely under "friends only" pretenses.

    I am just surprised at how we went from 31 to 15 again in no time flat during that text conversation.

    I definitely think when I come out to her it will get her off my back. She will probably want to cut all ties with me.. and honestly I am okay with that. I would be surprised if she was actually accepting.
     
  5. galaxythief

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    I had an instance similar to yours where I had one of my best friends who was annoying me to no end about so many different things. She constantly talked about religion and God and I'm fine with her being Christian but she knew that I'm agnostic so I don't need to hear all of this stuff about her religion. She made multiple comments about how being gay is wrong and a choice and all of that (before I came out to her).

    I kinda just said "fuck it" and came out to her because I almost wanted to stop being friends with her. That isn't the best way to stop being friends but it was definitely the easiest. After that we had a fight about it and stopped talking for about two weeks but then resolved it and she realized that I still am who I am and she isn't going to change that. After our fight we're now really close and I don't get annoyed with her anymore. I don't really know what made me stop being annoyed but maybe it was the break. Anyhow I knew she was not going to be accepting but then she came around and it ended up being for the better.
     
  6. Aeon Magus

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    If you've already told her that you only intend to be friends with her, and she gets mad when you do decide to come out to her, that's all on her. You can walk away, let her cool off if that's what she needs to do to get over it.
    Seriously.

    But less serious...


    At least you hope... the alternative would be her turning into a crazed fangirl, wanting to know every detail about your life. How you knew, what you went through, what kinda guys you like, bla bla bla... some of them can get really annoying with their questions after a while, believe me. That could be what lies ahead of you, so... :confused: there's that...
     
  7. Just1Dude

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    She is one of the few I am going to tell personally before I come out public. Hopefully it won't be me throwing it in her face. I know it isn't the most "adult" thing to do, but my emotions do get the best of me.

    Thanks guys for responding to my vent! and if she does become a crazed fangirl I will cry LOL