1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My life is pretty much falling apart right now.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by AlexPatrickMorrissey, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. OK, so I'm new here. This is my first ever post. I'm having a really tough time right now. I've just realized that I'm LGBT and I'm still kind of trying to come to terms with it. I currently am not out to anyone yet and I am positive that it's not just my hormones. Basically, my life has turned to shit right now. My family is experiencing financial troubles, my relationship with my mum is totally sh!tty, my only friends are moving away from me, I don't like going to school anymore, I eat way too much, I never get enough sleep, I'm lonely as hell right now, feeling guilty about my orientation and decisions I've made, and I live in this shitty ass world. I'd say that I don't connect with about 99% of people in this world. I also doubt that I'll be able to find a lover anywhere within 50 miles of my home. My life is pretty much sh!t right now and I don't know what to do right now. I'm seriously considering just hopping on a bus and just going somewhere far, far away and never coming back or telling anyone. I just want some stability in this sh!tty life and a normal relationship with my alcoholic, dumbass, selfish mum. I just don't know who I am anymore.
     
  2. Greggers

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,698
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BC, Canada
    Oh, so basically your in the same boat as 80% of the people on the site? :slight_smile:

    Trust me, lots of people here can relate. Life sucks ass, its what you make with the hand you were delt that makes life worth living.

    Ill just touch on the LGBt thing. So, your gay. You have accepted that? HORRAY! (!) That is step 1. The next step? That is learning to love yourself, gay and all. Some things you can do to help that would be take a peek at some of the videos in this thread:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22056

    I would recommend watching the movies "Get Real" and "Shelter". They are both in the thread, free to watch, off youtube. There is alot of good material in the thread and when i was coming to grips with my sexuality i found that watching testimony or videos of other people and how they came to grips with it helped me.

    Just know: Being gay is ok! (*hug*) This site is a great place, so Welcome to EC and feel free to wall post me ANYTIME about ANYTHING
     
  3. Eleanor Rigby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,767
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    France
    Hi, and first of all, welcome to EC !
    I'm sure you will find friends who are going throught pretty much the same things that you do here.
    You said you just realised you are gay. That's great. You seem to be young and it might seems to be something very difficult to handle right now, but there is on EC people who dicovered they are gay much later and regret deeply they didn't realised sooner who they truly are. You are young, you have plenty of time to become comfortable with your sexuality. There is no rush.
    Then, you said you have troubles in your relationship with your mum. That is, unfortunatly, quite usual. Try to take a deep breathe and remember : this is not something that gonna last forever. Sooner or later, you will have a life of your own, and if you're still not in good terms with your mum at that time, you won't be obliged to see her anymore.
    Until there, try to find something to vent your feelings of anger : sports, arts, coming on Ec... anything that will help you to cope with your current situation.
    About eating to much and school, these are the things you truly can change by yourself now. This is about your own life and your own body. You have the ability to regain power on your own life by taking care of yourself. And it is important to do so. Eat properly, sleep enought, take care of your body, it will help you to feel better in your own skin. As for school, to give yourself an education is very very important. I know it is boring and frustrating sometimes, but school is the bridge between you and your future life. Do not sabotage the bridge.
    I certain you'll find here lots of people who will provide great advices and moral support. Do not hesitate to contact me if you want.
    Take care, Eleanor
     
  4. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,722
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Eleanor and Greg gave great advice. But ill just say just spend some time reading through the forums here, posting anything that you need to and chatting to anyone you want to, everyone is really helpful and supportive. Lots of people will have been where you are now and sometimes just talking to someone who has been there is a bit of comfort in itself, take care (*hug*)
     
  5. Jim1454

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Toronto
    Hi. Welcome to EC. I'm glad you found this site - I hope you find it helpful!

    Try not to focus on stuff that is in the future. And try not to dwell on stuff that you can't control.

    What others have said is true. Figuring out your gay and then keeping it to youself can leave you feeling very lonely and isolated. But in time, that passes, as you get more comfortable with yourself and figure out who, if anyone, you want to share that with.

    If your home life is bad, and some of it has to do with your mom's drinking problem, perhaps you should look into Alateen - a support group for young people who are affected by someone else's alcholism. I've included the link here:

    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/alateen.html

    It's great that your parents have provide a counsellor for you to talk to. You might not always agree with them, but they are there to provide you with a perspective that you might not have yourself. Sometimes their advice is really helpful. I would take advantage of that if I were you.

    And I would hang out here too. This is a great site to get comfortable with yourself and what you're going through. Again - welcome!
     
  6. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome to EC! :wave:

    It's easy to feel overwhelmed when it appears you have things coming at you at all sides. And quite often, we tend to end up getting rather paralyzed, and not doing anything when confronted with it all.

    As others have pointed out, try not to focus on the things you CAN'T do anything about. You can't help where you live, and your parents' financial standing isn't something you can do much about (other than not bugging them to buy you things). These things will sort themselves out eventually. So focus on some of the things you CAN help.

    Your health. Start taking small steps on improving that. Next time you feel like grabbing a bag of chips or a donut, force yourself to do something instead. Walk around the block, do some homework, go online and post here. Start getting some exercise in your day, even if it's just 10-15 minutes.

    Your orientation. Not surprisingly, this comes up a lot here. :slight_smile: And there are many ways to work on coming to grips with it. One way is to interact here. A lot of the fear and anger that comes with realizing you're gay/bi has to do with misconceptions of what it means to be gay. And by interacting with others here, you'll start to understand - completely - that being gay means you like guys. That's it. Nothing else has to change. You don't have to buy disco CDs or rainbow short shorts (unless, of course, you want to). And being gay doesn't preclude you from having a killer, kick-ass life, as many of us will attest to.

    You can get to a better place. Let us know how we can help. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  7. Justindee13

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2009
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Acton, California
    welcome to ec i know life gets bad real real bad but on here u have to listen to people like greggers etc. they know wat they are tlaking about and it really helps to come and vent and get everything out . Im 14 and im gay i came to terms with it 4 years ago it so long for me to accept myself. my friends grew closer while some grew farther. I dont have the best relationship in the worl with my parents and i dont have a bf and i dont want one. Ur not alone here i thought i was but reality of it is that ur not so stop thinking u r.
     
  8. Sexiross

    Sexiross Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2009
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    washington pa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family





    honey...at one point of time...we all felt like crap!!!If you need a friend...dude im here...you can taljk to me about ANYTHING...im very open minded...im here buddy(*hug*)
     
  9. Wired106

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    434
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Norcal-San Francisco!
    Just keep looking up and don't let all of the negatives get to you. Many of us have been in your same position, and it sucks. I too have thought about just getting away from the drama because I've been sick and tired of living this routine every single day. I've thought about going somewhere far away and just living life. But I don't think that would ever work out lol, and I look forward to other goals that I really want to accomplish in my life. Just don't give up. I know it may seem like you will never get over it and life will just suck forever, but trust me it won't. Things will start to change and eventually it'll be the way you wanted it to be in the first place. Many of us have been through those same experiences in our lives, and have gotten through them. Hopefully it all turns around soon =]
     
  10. malachite

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,769
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Orlando
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Chocolate When I was a teen I was the fat kid all the other guys made fun of, and to top it off I was so confused about my sexual orientation that I hide from it for 15 years. I’ll break it down like this. High School = Hell. However, it get better…much better. I know the economy is in the crapper right now and the stress your parents feel spills over onto you. You feel like you can’t talk to anyone and you’re afraid to let anyone get too close because they might discover your secret. I know how alone that can make you feel, and how insane it can drive you.

    You have to

    You have to remember too: Parents aren’t perfect. It’s hard to realize they’re just regular people.
    :thumbsup: