And I hate posting something so vague and sounding like an attention seeker... it's really not that. I just feel incredibly worn out, much less attractive than I used to be/feel, tired and just downright sad... really sad. I hardly even have the energy it takes to start explaining or doing any thinking, and I know that's what a thread like this requires. I feel like I'm in the beginning of a real mental breakdown and I'm fighting back tears as I type. I realize how pathetic I sound. I swear...I just don't know what to do anymore.
It is difficult when you are being quite vague, but you do not sound pathetic. A lot of people on this board have felt that way and can relate to how you're feeling. Firstly I'd say try to take a deep breath. Get some fresh air, some exercise, try to clear your head. Sometimes things build on top of you if you aren't keeping active and it can get you quite down. So try to keep busy, if it's possible Is there anyone you can talk to? Some friends, some family. Is a counsellor available to you? Just talking to someone can really help get issues that are bothering you out of the way. If not, you've done the right thing by posting on EC, try telling us more or drop a PM, we want to help
i feel the same as you man dont worry talking to people on here can help i know if u need a chat about anything message me take care and relax your not alone
Life can be really overwhelming at times. Remember that you only need to worry about one day at a time, which makes everything a little more manageable... Being 19 is rough. It was for me, anyway. There are so many changes happening in life that it's hard to keep up sometimes. And that can get you down, for sure. (Can I admit that I had to smile a little...? If you don't feel as attractive now - at 19 - as you did in the past, that's a really loooonnnngggg downhill slope you're now on. Speaking as someone who is 38!) But I think I know what you're saying. Attitude and mood have as much to do with how we feel about ourselves as our actually appearance. So if we're feeling down, we're not going to think we look all that great either. Taking care of yourself should be priority number one. As Becky suggested - make sure you're getting enough rest. And exercise is important for maintaining a positive attitude. So make sure you're getting enough of both. Next - plan to sit down and talk with someone. Do your parents have access to support services through their employer? Many large companies provide employee support services free of chart to their families. Or through school? Or a local community health services office? Sharing with someone what is bothering you can do a lot to lessen the burden. And while you might not even feel capable of expressing yourself to someone, that's not a reason to not go. They'll figure out a way to help you express yourself. You're worth it. So try this stuff. And let us know how you're doing.
I prefer to reply to everyone individually but I'm literally too tired. I don't really feel my hands. I'm almost struggling to type this. First of all thank you. I don't exercise or sleep well. I lost a lot of weight recently too. It makes me look bad and stress is showing even at this age. The skin under my eyes is horrible. I don't have enough energy to exercise. I hardly even eat. I just can't... I have no appetite at all. I can't afford therapy. I'm not going to go to a therapist that isn't gay or doesn't specialize in gay stuff and they cost money. I'd say more but I have a stupid fear of doing it online where anyone can read, that's also why I'm vague. I don't even know why I'm doing this then... I just feel like screaming my head off.
scream sometimes it helps for me. i know wat its liek to feel alone and pathetic but i got through it and im still going through it this site has helped me so much and so have my best of friends. life is like a roller coaster it has its ups and downs but control where it aheads. Be strong dont give up live life to how u want it not how others want u
If you're not sleeping, you're not eating, and you're not getting any exercise, then it isn't surprising that your life is overwhelming and you feel crappy. So what is it that keeps you up at night? Causes you to lose your appetite? Sucks the energy out of you? You'll notice that my suggestions for therapy or counselling were all of the FREE variety. When you say you want a therapist that specializes in 'gay stuff' what exactly do you mean? I have worked with a therapist that doesn't specialize in 'gay stuff' nor is he gay. But he certainly had the compasion and understanding to help me. And I think most professionals you come across will be the same. You're relatively new here. Perhaps just spending more time here in EC. By reading the other support threads and the coming out threads you might start to see your situation being experienced by other people too, and you'll see how those people are dealing with it. Perhaps in ways you haven't contemplated. Life is complicated and hard. And being gay adds yet another layer of complexity and challenge onto that already difficult life. But it isn't impossible. Sometimes it just requires you to 'put your hand up' so to speak and ask for help. There's no shame in that. NOBODY is capable of figuring everything out on their own. Put another way, if your best friend, or sibling, or parent was struggling and feeling as lost and alone as you are right now, wouldn't you want them to tell you so that you could at least lend some support and do what you could to help them? If that's the case, why do you think they would feel any differently about you?!?!? Put your hand up. You've done it here. Do it with some of the people you know in real life. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel for doing it.