Let me start off by saying that I am 100% to terms with the fact that I am not straight. And even If I were given the opportunity to become "straight" I would not. I also don't think my sexual orientation defines who I am. I also have never felt worried about "coming out", until just now. I tried to come out today, but I could not get myself to do it. My family is very supporting and loving, I don't think they will have much a problem with it. However, I still got scared shittles. And now I'm starting to feel like shit because I'm so nervous. I don't know what to do. I don't really talk to my parents seriously ever. So it feels really weird when I do. I told my friends without a problem but I literally could not get myself to speak when I tried to tell my parent. Am I not yet ready to come out? idk what to do. now I feel I'm overreacting and I just need to get it over with it. I can only imagine what people with unsupportive parents must be feeling.
What you are going through is totally normal. I felt the same way. It always hard to tell your parents regardless of how supportive they are. In that moment you were not ready to tell them, but that doesn't mean that if you try again you won't have the courage. You'll know when the time comes
Before I came out as bi I was so afraid even though I knew that my family would accept me. I tried to tell them many times but I could never get it out. I eventually settled for a text message, which was once again, very hard for me to send. It was definitely worth it though. If you feel like you're ready to come out I would give it a few more tries and perhaps try different ways to let them know? If you really can't tell them then that's ok, just give it a little more time
Hey Thebes, You should only Come Out if/when you are comfortable doing so and if it is safe to do so. It sounds like you don’t have any safety issues nor worries about being disowned or thrown out of the house. That’s excellent. You seem to have thought through the idea of Coming Out to your parents, but it is the actual execution that is causing you anxiety. As Confusedmoose said, it is always hard to Come Out to your parents. Even if, as MulticoloredSox, said, you are really certain that they will be accepting. It’s always hard to talk to parents about anything sexual and Coming Out as non-heterosexual, we often feel that we are letting our parents down in some way. (It’s not true, of course, but that’s often how we feel.) Parents can also be the hardest to Come Out to because we have the most to lose if they somehow disapprove of us or judge us after we tell them. We rely on their love and support and it can feel like we are potentially putting that in jeopardy when we Come Out to them. That can be as scary a prospect as actually talking about sexuality with them. Have you considered writing them a letter or a note? For parents who are expected to be supportive, I strongly recommend that you Come Out to them in person. You could write them a letter explaining that you are Bi and write anything else you want them to know right now. Alternately, you could write them a note that simply says “I’m Bisexual”, ask to meet with them and if the words won’t leave your mouth, you could hand them the note. That would probably be enough to break the ice and then if you had anything else you wanted to tell them right then, you probably could. Plus you could answer any questions that they might have. Also, remember that this will probably be unexpected news to them and they may need some time to process it. Just some thoughts. Best of luck!
Very good point from Quantumreality. Communicating in writing was also easier for me. First contact to to my therapist (when I found her)was through a letter. In it I went over many things that simply I couldn't talk about in the first few months with her. Even here on this forum I've written about events and feelings that I would be totally terrified to discuss with another person live. So writing it down and having the letter with you will help in case you can't talk. But if you decide to do it, it is important if possible to do it in person, not via e-mail or text, even if you're handing them the letter without talking at first. Much love .
Thank you all for the advice and support. I appreciate you guys taking the time to right all of this.
Thebes, if sexuality isn't that much of a big deal to you, when it arises in conversation, just chime in with a comment. It doesn't even have to be LGBT related. Maybe your parents happen to talk about a male celebrity you fancy (not necessarily), then it would be a great time to say something along the lines of "I wish I had a boyfriend who looked like..". My example probably sucks, but I hope you got the idea and that you can come up with something way better when the time is right.
