Some background knowledge, first. Months ago, my father and my siblings all had this giant conversation about sexuality. My father and step-mom are Christians, and while they don't openly nope at the LGBTQ+ community, I believe they unconsciously harbor some homophobia. As such, I will probably never share the fact that I am pansexual. However, this is not the problem. The problem is that I would like to live as genderfluid 100%, and my parents have no clue that I don't fully identify as female. I believe that my step-mom may suspect, because she's the one I ask for male cosplays. I haven't yet screwed up the courage to ask for a professional binder, but she has purchased me several compression bras for my cosplay. I like to believe that she would accept me, but she's also rather strict so I don't know. My dad is another story. I am almost certain that he will react poorly, and may even kick me out of the house as I'm almost 18. I want to be able to be myself, but I'm terrified I'll be rejected. Is that normal? What should I do? Help would be greatly appreciated.
If you want my honest opinion, I'd say that it wouldn't be a good idea to come out to your dad if there's a risk that your dad will kick you out of the house. Would you be able to take care of yourself if this happened? If not, I recommend keeping quiet for now. You're almost 18 so you should move out fairly soon: you won't have too long to wait before living the life you deserve. How are your siblings' opinions on the LGBT community? If they're more open-minded (and if they're unlikely to out you) then it may help to at least come out to them.
My twin sister is fine with the LGBTQ+ community, we have some mutual friends who are gay or trans. My younger sister isn't straight herself, but an asexual who is questioning her own gender. I have no idea about my brother, but he's only 12. I think my twin might know, as some of the friends I've told of my gender are friends of her also. I don't believe my younger sister would tell my parents, but my twin and I had some trouble back in August (still grounded) and young sis has been repeating lots of what twin and I say to parents. I'm also worried she may accuse me of either following trends or faking (I've only been questioning my gender since mid-June, and she accused me of faking my sexuality to make friends last year) I probably won't tell any of them, honestly. I wish I could, but I don't know what will happen.
If you'd feel more comfortable keeping to yourself, then that's fine. Even though it's often encouraged, you don't have any obligation to come out if you don't want to, or if you think it could threaten your safety/relationships. I know how bad it feels to be accused of faking your gender or sexuality, and such accusations are best avoided. If your sister has done it before then it seems likely that she'll do it again, especially if you haven't been questioning for very long. It may be hard for you to keep to yourself completely, so have you considered coming out to any of your friends instead? I've come out to a couple of my friends, and this has helped me greatly.
If I were you I've learned from Amanda's chronicles and so that if you do get kicked out, stay with supporting friends until you can get a permanent place. You should look up Amanda on YouTube if you haven't already hard of her she's really awesome
In truth, several of my friends already know. I've told the ones who would most likely accept me (my trans friends) and a few others. I accidentally came out to my best friend during lunch while talking to a trans friend about pronouns, but she was perfectly fine with it. So I've told most of the classmates that matter. When I get my phone back, I'll tell my app friends. They'll be overjoyed that I've figured myself out. (They were the ones to help me start this journey)
Hi there! It sounds like you have already created a good support network. Given the current situation at home, and with your siblings as well as the fact that you are not sure as to whether you can trust them presently, it would be worthwhile to hold off with coming out. Do you have the sense that you need to come out to your family, or would you be okay with giving it a bit more time?
