Hi, I'm new here. I'm sort of confused about life. There's a lot of really good support on this forum (at least from what I've found by lurking around), and most of the advice is awesome. I am, as the status indicates, not sure about things in general about sexuality and who I like. On top of that I'm pretty much incapable of getting up the courage to explore things without being pushed. I'm not afraid of my family or my friends, I'm entirely lucky in that they're all good people. It's more of a personal level of fear that I can't seem to get over every time I'm in a position to actually try something. Anytime there's a possible moment with someone I just withdraw, and I want to stop doing that, I just don't know how. My main question is how do all of you have the courage to try to find out who you are?
I think it just takes time and being confident and comfortable with yourself. Welcome to EC, talk to some people here and im sure you will work it out and find some helpful advice.
I haven't been with a man yet, and I'm just getting to a place where I think I might be ready to. If you feel like withdrawing there is nothing wrong with it, it juts means you're not ready yet. You don't need to rush these things your 19 you have plenty of time. Just make sure when you do go for it, it is becuase it's what you want, not what someone else wants. Sometimes being a little selfish is a good thing.
yeah, don't rush yourself just have fun i joined a group a while back called armistead and met a few lovely people there although i don't go anymore, it's on the same day that i work, and i had to get the train to it anyway don't cast yourself out there specifically to explore just browse, chat to people you may like some, you may not just take it slow :]
You build confidence. Life is a scary thing,sometime. Add to it sexual confusion, and it's no wonder why you feel ,as you do. I can tell you that the majority of people,who have accepted themselves, for who they are,have gone through what you have described. I often stayed alone,in my room,as a teenager.( even when I wasn't grounded!) Try looking around for LGBT places near you and go and see what it's like.( I don't know of many,but I know about PFLAG) I'm sure others here will know more. You need to be the one to push yourself. Once you do,you may just wonder what took you so long! I'm happy that you found EC. There are great people with awesome advice here. Take your time. You'll find yourself,in time,don't rush it.
I was much like you. I think the uncertainty around your orientation causes you to hold back. Well, the fact that I'm gay kind of explains why I wasn't really ever interested in chasing girls when I was growing up. But I didn't know that was the reason at the time. So it wasn't until I was 25 that I met a wonderful girl, and she sort of pushed / pulled me out of my shell, and I allowed myself to get close to her, and ultimately intimate. And because that's what I was supposed to do, I got married and had a couple of kids before realizing that I was gay. So give yourself a break. Maybe you need to assume you're gay, even if you're not sure. Then, based on that assumption, think about dating someone. Having coffee with a guy. Giving him a hug if you're into him. Moving on to someone else if you're not. That's how it works - nothing more complicated than that. Good luck!
watch porn. see who u think is more attractive. im serious. and think about who u often find yourself crushing on. thatll give u a push in the right direction.
