Hey everyone, I have been recommended this site and i was a little hesitant, but it looks fantastic. I love seeing i am not the only one. My situation may be different but probably not too out of the ordinary. I have been married for 12 years to a man and i am a lesbian. I had pretty controlling parents who wouldn't let me be me in any way from what i wanted to wear to who i was friends with to my jobs. I ended up getting married to a man who unfortunatley is exactly like my parents. Its a passive aggressive controlling from everyone, so maybe the words havent been said but they are known. I have two beautiful girls who i love beyond. My oldest wanted her hair cut like a ruby rose style and i let her after two years of contemplating it and my husband hates it and will say it at any time he can to her.....saying, 'your a girl' .....'you had your fun but your a girl and grow your hair out.' I get very defensive and say to him let her be who she is. So....my point is i wish my parents were like that to me. Im pretty sure i have been gay my whole life and i have never been able to be me. Well now i am married and i have no idea how to get out of this situation without looking like a selfish bitch. I have always been worried about what people(parents,husband and in laws) think and especially now with kids depending on me and this life. Is there anyone out there that can tell me if they have been in this situation and what you did or how you did it without feeling guilty about the way you are? Sincerely, Impossible
Dear Impossible, First things first, it is never selfish to be who you are. If you aren't happy in your marriage then maybe you should divorce him. You can't let your parents control your life. I know having kids makes things more complicating but as a child of divorce I can honestly say I wish my parents had split sooner. My father is controlling and has never really accepted me. Maybe if my parents had split and he was out of my life at an earlier age then maybe I would be a little more accepting of myself now. You shouldn't feel guilty about who you are. Being lesbian isn't a bad thing. I'm bisexual myself and the way I look at it that I shouldn't limit who I love because of what other people think. I hope everything ends well for you,. Best of luck, OrchaidLover
