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Were you interested in the opposite sex before you knew you were gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mugwump, Apr 9, 2009.

  1. Mugwump

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    I read something recently in another thread, where somebody said that they had no libido prior to realising they were interested in the the same sex. This got me thinking... so, my story is that I assumed I was straight, then thought I must be asexual because I really wasn't interested in sex with guys, then I started thinking about females, and am currently thinking that might be quite nice!

    So I am wondering if other people have had similar experiences? E.g. did you just suddenly become interested in sex once you started thinking about the same sex instead of opposite? Did anyone else ever think they were asexual? I am hoping to find people with similar experiences, because while my above description would indicate that I am most probably lesbian, I am kind of having trouble believing myself!

    I am so bad at asking concise questions! Sorry :S
     
  2. Lumi Nie

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    Well, I had this problem too. At first I had a boyfriend. We sort of loved each other and then, one day, I just realized I don't need him in physical way, but he needed me.
    So, when I told him that he said that he will try to understand and not do anything with me for a while. But time pased, months flew by and I still didn't want him, at all. We had a fight and broke up.

    At the moment I don't think I'm lesbian, because there are some cute guys that I feel atraction to, but I'm more into girls at the moment. ^_^
     
  3. CometCat

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    Up until I was about 17-18 I wasnt attracted to any sex really then I started gradually (not instantly) being attracted to guys, not sure what changed in me. I dont think I knew what asexual was back then and even if I did i didnt actually notice that i wasnt attracted to anyone haha :slight_smile:
     
  4. Jay

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    When I was in denial, I was so.... innocent that I actually thought about sex with guys. I remember when I was watc.... NO WAIT, TMI TMI. Anyways.

    I never had interest in sex with women anyways, I just like women because they're more in touch of their emotions and they have WAY better clothing. Hehe, the clothes aren't a real reason :slight_smile: But even before accepting myself as "gay" I did had sexual fantasies with men.
     
  5. fanfreek

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    I was pretty much attracted to women all the way until I discovered men at the age of 12. Before that I was just another str8 guy.
     
  6. SirBoobalot

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    I think I know which thread you're referring to, can't remember which one it was now - but the poster said that her lack of libido was due to depression. That's absolutely common in depressed people - you lose interest in a lot of things, the one that everyone seems to know about is hobbies, but a lot of people also lose interest in sex (and, frequently, making the effort to keep themselves looking nice). Obviously it's different for everyone, and you can't say "depressed people never want sex", but it does often happen.

    I was in a sort of similar situation - I've been attracted to both guys and girls since I can remember being attracted to anyone, but I didn't really think about sex much until just before I started to come out. That was more due to circumstances (the same ones that allowed me to come out) than sexuality though. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Fiorino

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    I can find a woman attractive, but if you show me a naked Scarlett Johansson, I'll
    be like-wow she has a really nice body.
    So basically, the attraction isn't sexual.

    If you find me a naked Robert Pattinson
    I'll push you out of the way and jump on him. :icon_bigg

    Here were a few clues I failed to notice:

    -I always focused TOO MUCH on the guy in straight porn.

    -When I was 12, I suddenly found it arousing to imagine one of my
    (male) friends in the shower with me.

    -I had a crush on a 5th grader when I was in Kindergarden.
     
  8. Maddy

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    I had a kiddie crush on a boy when I was much younger (10-ish), but as soon as puberty kicked in and actual attraction started coming into it, my eyes turned towards girls. I don't think I've ever been sexually attracted to guys.
     
  9. BlakeHarmony

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    My friends would always talk about who their latest crush was on... I played my lack of interest off as "being too mature to care about those kind of things", lol. Until a friend talked about the crush she had on a different girl I had never really thought about it at all. As soon as I did though...
    The whole, believing to be asexual to gay thing does make a lot of sense, it's just brain denial.
     
  10. Justindee13

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    i think we start out straight cause thats how we are brought up raised and stuff. then when we are old enough to make our own choices etc we realize they werent aroused by the oppiste sex and that we are gay. people may see it when they are 14.. or even like 20 to 30... thats my look at it but i hioped i helped alittle
     
  11. Crackajack

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    I have never seen girls as attractive, must be that at my school they were too much make up and whine about EVERYTHING. Guys don't xD
     
  12. Katherine

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    To be honest, no. That's actually kind of what first told me that I might be gay. I really started suspecting when I consciously asked myself, "Why DO girls like guys?" and then realized I should have had an answer, but didn't.
     
  13. xequar

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    No, I was never interested in girls, except for the religious and societal indoctrination that told me I should be. But, girls never actually "did it" for me.
     
  14. silverhalo

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    I think I thought I did and I tried to pretend I did but actually no, it just took me ages to figure it out.
     
  15. Just Adam

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    i tried to be into the other sex partialy due to denial and wanting to fit in but it never worked i would love the person but no attraction :S
     
  16. starbucksshoote

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    I dated a girl for over a year, and while it was a looooong time ago I seem to recall finding her (and other girls) attractive. After she and I broke up (towards the end of high school) I didn't really date anyone else (although I did go out once or twice with girls who I found attractive at the time). By midway through university, I had more or less come to the realization that I wasn't interested in girls anymore, and was feeling attraction towards guys. However, I've never actually DONE anything with a guy, but I find that the connections I have with guys are much deeper than with women.

    Plus, I find them hot and girls, not so much ;-)

    (Sarah Michelle Gellar being the exception)
     
  17. Thisisnew

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    I had what I thought were crushes on guys. Then I noticed I didnt like guys as much as other girls then I thought well i havent found one I really like. Once I said maybe I'm gay I looked at girls and found out what a real crush feels like lol.
     
  18. Sexiross

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    yes...i dated 11 girls....ugh!
     
  19. Alex19

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    i liked girls emotionally, and i had a crush on some girls at some points, but they literally only lasted a day. and even at that, i was never interested in them physically. on the other hand, i had crushes on boys and that wasnt just emotional, but physical too. i liked them in more ways than one. and those crushes lasted like, a couple months (for this one boy, it was the whole school year) as opposed to one day. and the intensity of the crushes was different too. for the girls, well it was so weak i dont even remember. but as for the boys, well, i was always thinking about them.
     
  20. gemerency

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    lo siento but ya i had (stronger) feelings for girls when i was younger and hadn't thought of looking at guy