this website has helped me see im bi, but i cant accept it. i just cant come out and embrace it. its something i want to keep hidden and i just dont want to feel this way anymore but i dont know how to stop this feeling. any help?
It's normal to struggle to accept your sexuality after coming to terms with yourself. But in order to fully embrace yourself you need to figure out what's holding you back. Are there any thoughts or circumstances in particular that prevent you from accepting yourself?
Given that you only stopped questioning two days ago (I posted on your other thread) I'd give yourself time to accept your new label. Moving from thinking you're straight to knowing you're actually bisexual can feel quite overwhelming at first, I know I felt that way in the beginning. As AnATypicalGuy said, is there anything in particular that makes you want to keep your orientation a secret? Is it fear of homophobic reactions, or do you come from a religious background that's causing you guilt etc.?
Hey jennnselinaaaa, There is a difference between understanding your sexuality and accepting it. We each go through this process at our own rate. In my case, I came to an understanding that I was Bi when I was 23, but it wasn't until I was 25 that I fully accepted it. Don't worry, though. Now that you understand your sexuality, acceptance will come in time. Stay strong!
i mean i am catholic but ive never let that get in the way of my beliefs, ive always been a proud supporter of us when i was straight. always. i just cant seem to admit it to myself that im bi. i mean my best friends have been gay or bi but ive supported them and been there for them so why cant i accept it when its myself? ---------- Post added 13th Jan 2017 at 06:06 PM ---------- @IceCream
Hey jennnselinaaaa, It is a completely different issue being tolerant of others as opposed to accepting that you are 'one of them' yourself. Especially with a Catholic background, you seem to be having a hard time overcoming what you were taught (erroneously) in your upbringing and accepting your sexuality. In your case, it can be especially difficult since the Catholic church teach that non-heterosexuals who practice their sexuality will go to hell. There are a couple of threads here on EC that might help you, if you haven't seen them previously: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/65350-bible-tells-me-being-gay-wrong-now-i-just-dont-know-what-do.html#post1101418 http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/49316-my-advice-about-being-lgbt-christian-very-long.html Stay strong!
its just i dont care what the bible has to say i believe in god and thats enough. they dont decide who i get to be with. my religous beliefs dont effect my love life. i just cant seem to accept that im bi. idk why ---------- Post added 13th Jan 2017 at 06:25 PM ---------- @Quantumreality
Fair enough jennnselinaaaa, But I think that you should consider that the Catholic church homophobia was part of your ingrained upbringing and still part of how your family and Catholic friends may feel. That kind of stuff doesn't just 'go away' because you decide, consciously, that it doesn't matter or that you choose to ignore it. Have you considered seeing a therapist to try to help you work through this?
It's not that straightforward. I started coming out in June last year that I was genderfluid and pansexual. It felt great and I thought I was finally happy with myself. Unfortunately the rollercoaster was just beginning and I then had a massive battle with denial and internalised homophobia and internalised transphobia, about my gender. I ended up in a place where it was fine for me to tell other people I was fluid, but could I allow others to work it out for themselves? OH HELL NO. I thought I wasn't trans enough or genderfluid enough; that other people who identified as genderfluid were the real genderfluid people but I wasn't, and this was when I had nearly three months of data in an Excel spreadsheet showing my gender fluctuations day by day. You'd think that would be concrete enough, right? :lol: I did a lot of talking to my partner, came out to my parents in November, and started working through a lot of things blocking my path to acceptance. Just today I dealt with some issues surrounding my feelings about male violence, which were making it hard for me to be physically affectionate with my partner when male, and the problem of validation of my female and androgynous aspects, which was driving me to want to present as overtly female so that side of me could be recognised, rather than accepting that although I'm not a terribly femme person when female, this does not invalidate my femaleness. In addition, all of those things were making it much harder to sort out what would be my final position on pronouns. I don't mean to scare you with all of this; rather I'd say be kind to yourself. The road can be longer and bumpier than you think, and that's okay. (&&&)
