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Advice on coming out to religious grandparents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TanMan, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. TanMan

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    At the end of November 2016, I finally had the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. In the moment they took it okay and assured me that they still love me, etc. I made a post about it and the advice was amazing. However, my parents are Christian and they believe it's a choice to be gay. My father has been very worried about my "salvation," as that's the way he worded it. They told me that they wanted to send me to a Christian counselor if I agreed, and they would pay. All this is in my previous threads.

    However, I really want to tell my grandma, whom I live with (my grandpa passed away two years ago, and she needs someone to stay with her). My grandma is very religious so I'm very worried about telling her... not so much about her kicking me out because I would just move back in with my parents (I'm not financially independent just yet, but I'm working and saving up to hopefully move out soon). Im more worried about her stressing out and thinking about it too much and having it possibly killing her.

    I know she won't take it well, but I know she will still love me. She's the type of woman who prays at night everyday, and goes to church every Sunday. She always tells my brothers and I that she prays for us, etc.

    Has anyone ever come out to their aging grandparents before? Like I said, I'm just worried about it stressing her out and the possibility of her dying.

    I just don't think I could live with such a regret. the main thing is that it's time for me to come out publically to the rest of my family and friends. Should I just wait till she passes to come out, even though it may be a couple more years, or just tell her when the time is right?
     
  2. resu

    Advisor Full Member

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    Location:
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    It depends on your grandma's religiosity and degree of tolerance. You might ask your parents about it, but they may not be in the right frame of mind. What she has said in the past about homosexuality? Maybe you could slowly bring up the topic to gauge her reaction (and even guide her to understanding it is not a choice). Has she met or known any [out] LGBT people (including celebrities)?