1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How to come out to my friends?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by LooLYo, Jan 14, 2017.

  1. LooLYo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2017
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cheshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I don't really know where else to ask, I'm just wondering when/how to tell my friends I'm gay or whether I should at all. None of my friends are gay and most of them are guys. I'm not attracted to any of them but it's hard nonetheless. I don't think any of them are homophobic but I'm just not sure when or how I could tell them.
     
  2. Destiel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    If you feel like you want to come out you can do so, so long as you know you're in a safe space. It might be best to gauge how they react to homosexuality first off before coming out just to ensure you're own safety. I know some people might say if they reject you then they weren't good friends in the first place - and while yes good friends would accept you - that's also hard to swallow when they're your close friends. Make sure you know their stance on something like this before taking the leap, as I said before for your own safety.

    In regards on how to come out, it doesn't have to be a big thing. The first person I ever came out to I actually wrote it down in a letter and gave it to them when walking home from school and told her not to look at it till she was home. It was kind of corny and I was anxious the whole night but it worked out. You don't have to do anything like that since it's really over-the-top aha.

    What I do now is drop subtle hints and eventually just start using she pronouns when talking about people I'm interested in ect. so they get the idea and most people take it pretty well and if anything just go 'oh, okay well what's she like?' and we move on. You can always also just go with a forward approach. When I came out to my friend group as a whole we were all sitting in my friends room on our laptops and phones and I just kinda looked up - nervous as hell not going to lie aha - and said "I just want you guys to know I'm not straight." They took it well and eventually the three of them started coming out to me as well over the course of a year or so aha.

    So long as you feel like your safe to come out, you can come out casually. Casual is usually the best and in an environment where if things go bad you can easily get out of it. Also make sure you know before hand, if you're not out to your parents, to make sure you know for a fact they wont out you - a mistake I made myself.

    Hope everything goes well! (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2017 at 04:35 AM ----------

    And regarding the time, there is no set time you need to come out at. Do it when you're comfortable and understand the possible outcomes of coming out to them. If you dont feel comfortable you can wait, coming out isn't the 'goal' so make sure you put yourself and your feelings first before pressuring yourself into a time date to come out :slight_smile:
     
  3. LooLYo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2017
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cheshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks for the advice. I guess I don't really know what my issue is; I'm accepting of myself as gay and I don't think my friends will have much of a problem. It's just an awkward situation and something I have to deal with. I wish they just knew (and sometimes I think they might, but I can't be sure) and I didn't have to go through telling them. Maybe I don't like the attention, idk.