Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

mannix · 9th Apr 2009, 08:50 PM

Hey everyone, I'm pretty new to this site so I just wanted to introduce myself. This seems like a nice forum with great people

So yeah in regards to the whole sexuality thing, I've been questioning it a whole lot lately. Since around year 9 I've thought about it and off, but only recently have I been thinking that the reality might be that I'm a lesbian. When I think back on it, there have been no guys that on first meeting I've been, "woahhh. he is amazing". But I can think of a few girls I've met this year who have made me have that reaction.

If I was to say I was gay, I know my friends would be really supportive. Some would be quite suprised (I don't really fit the stereotype of lesbians that's portrayed in the media), but overall I'm pretty sure they'd be supportive. At least then they'd stop trying to set me up with guys! As for my family, that's a little more complicated. I've come to the conclusion that they are fine with homosexuality, as long as it's not me.

I have a feeling my mum might suspect it. We were watching Oprah the other day about a lesbian woman who left her husband (who ended up coming out as gay too lol). Don't know how it came about but mum said, "You're not gay are you????" to which I replied, "hah nooooo". So yeah...

I'm at University now, and I just graduated from a lovely little catholic all-girls school, so I haven't had a whooole lot of experience with guys...right now I guess I'd just like to meet a girl. Try it out. See how it goes. Then I'd be able to have this all more straight in my mind. did many of you know you were gay before ever being in a relationship? I've been on a few dates with guys here and there but nothing serious.

Anyway, sorry about the chunk of text. I'm happy I've found this place, nice to meet you all

Bryan44 · 9th Apr 2009, 08:54 PM

Hello and welcome to EC!!

Apocalypte · 10th Apr 2009, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mannix

If I was to say I was gay, I know my friends would be really supportive. Some would be quite suprised (I don't really fit the stereotype of lesbians that's portrayed in the media)

Not every lesbian is a plaid-wearing boot butch! Some are, but most aren't, and I can honestly say my gaydar is absolutely awful for girls because the vast majority of queer girls I've ever met are quite femme. Admittedly I'm not, but that's a whole other matter.

Quote:

I'm at University now, and I just graduated from a lovely little catholic all-girls school, so I haven't had a whooole lot of experience with guys...right now I guess I'd just like to meet a girl. Try it out. See how it goes.

If your university has an LGBT society/club, that would be a perfect opportunity to get to know other queer girls. Just go with the flow, and do what makes you happy

TriBi · 10th Apr 2009, 05:52 AM

Hey - welcome!

I'm sure you'll find a bunch of people you can relate to here.

**Jim1454** · 10th Apr 2009, 08:12 AM

Hi there and welcome to EC. I'm sure that you'll find people that you can relate to here.

I actually got married before coming to the conclusion that I was gay. I don't really think you need to try out both to know. Instead I think you need to be really honest with yourself. You're on a path to do that. Good for you!

mannix · 11th Apr 2009, 06:06 AM

Thanks for the welcome guys. And I just realised that I posted this in the wrong section, sorry!

aerwolfen · 11th Apr 2009, 07:39 AM

welcome to the EC family,coming out to us is your first step,with a load of wonderful people and all types of experience at your finger tips,just ask,were here to help and listen,have fun.

Just Adam · 11th Apr 2009, 08:21 AM

welcome

enjoy Ec

pianomike · 11th Apr 2009, 08:29 AM

Welcome to the Family!!!!!!!!!!!

silverhalo · 11th Apr 2009, 12:53 PM

Hello and welcome, yes its great here

Revealed · 13th Apr 2009, 04:27 AM

Another Aussie!! Yay!!!!

Anyway...welcome to EC Mannix

You'll be sure to find alot of people here who've gone through/ are going through the same situation. So don't be afraid to ask questions because we're all here to help.

It's good that you're looking into your sexuality & trying to find what's right for you. I've never felt blown off my feet by guys either. I did cave in & date a few, but the relationships didn't last because I wasn't truly attracted to them, I just wanted to see if I could do it. But it turns out I couldn't & I'm happy with that because I think women are gorgeous

I'm glad to hear that you know you're friends would be supportive if you came out to them. Receiving a positive response will make the process that little bit easier. You mentioned some may be shocked. If they are, so be it. Everyone will react differently. The only important thing is that they accept you. After all, you're not changing in any way, you're just sharing another part of who you are.

Parents can be a tricky subject when it involves talking about sexuality. I myself have come out to my mum, dad & brother, but not any other member of the family. I suggest reading through the coming out section because parents are a hot topic. You might find something useful amongst the posts

As for getting some more experience in the area, I agree with Apocolypte in regards to approaching a GLBT club at your university. It's a good start in getting some face-to-face support & even getting to know other GLBT members.

Good luck & keep us posted on how things are going

Psychedelic Bookmarks · 13th Apr 2009, 05:07 AM

Hey! There are quite a few of us here in similar situations. I've never been with a girl or a boy in any sort of semi-serious way so I'm pretty unsure at the moment too. But it is also possible to be sure even though you're inexperienced. Both are fine. Either way, the best thing is to try (it's hard, I know) not to get too uptight about the whole thing, but to just go with the flow and enjoy meeting whoever comes along.

I agree with apocalypte that your university's LGBT society would be a good place to start to meet other queer girls.

malachite · 13th Apr 2009, 02:16 PM

This is me waving "hi"

Michael1992 · 13th Apr 2009, 02:28 PM

Hey and welcome to EC!

My mam is always giving me the question "You're not gay are you??" aswell.

Good Luck!

x

twixy30 · 13th Apr 2009, 09:16 PM

welcome you will love it here

9th Apr 2009, 08:50 PM	#1
mannix Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Not sure Out Status: Got to figure myself out before I take that leap. Location: Australia Age: 22 Posts: 14 Join Date: Apr 2009	Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Hey everyone, I'm pretty new to this site so I just wanted to introduce myself. This seems like a nice forum with great people So yeah in regards to the whole sexuality thing, I've been questioning it a whole lot lately. Since around year 9 I've thought about it and off, but only recently have I been thinking that the reality might be that I'm a lesbian. When I think back on it, there have been no guys that on first meeting I've been, "woahhh. he is amazing". But I can think of a few girls I've met this year who have made me have that reaction. If I was to say I was gay, I know my friends would be really supportive. Some would be quite suprised (I don't really fit the stereotype of lesbians that's portrayed in the media), but overall I'm pretty sure they'd be supportive. At least then they'd stop trying to set me up with guys! As for my family, that's a little more complicated. I've come to the conclusion that they are fine with homosexuality, as long as it's not me. I have a feeling my mum might suspect it. We were watching Oprah the other day about a lesbian woman who left her husband (who ended up coming out as gay too lol). Don't know how it came about but mum said, "You're not gay are you????" to which I replied, "hah nooooo". So yeah... I'm at University now, and I just graduated from a lovely little catholic all-girls school, so I haven't had a whooole lot of experience with guys...right now I guess I'd just like to meet a girl. Try it out. See how it goes. Then I'd be able to have this all more straight in my mind. did many of you know you were gay before ever being in a relationship? I've been on a few dates with guys here and there but nothing serious. Anyway, sorry about the chunk of text. I'm happy I've found this place, nice to meet you all

9th Apr 2009, 08:54 PM	#2
Bryan44 Dork Full Member Gender: Male Location: Georgia Posts: 2,067 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Hello and welcome to EC!!

10th Apr 2009, 05:52 AM	#4
TriBi Cheers! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Location: DownUnder Posts: 4,080 Join Date: Dec 2004	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Hey - welcome! I'm sure you'll find a bunch of people you can relate to here.

10th Apr 2009, 08:12 AM	#5
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 42 Posts: 7,987 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Hi there and welcome to EC. I'm sure that you'll find people that you can relate to here. I actually got married before coming to the conclusion that I was gay. I don't really think you need to try out both to know. Instead I think you need to be really honest with yourself. You're on a path to do that. Good for you! __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

11th Apr 2009, 06:06 AM	#6
mannix Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Not sure Out Status: Got to figure myself out before I take that leap. Location: Australia Age: 22 Posts: 14 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Thanks for the welcome guys. And I just realised that I posted this in the wrong section, sorry! __________________ *You can bomb the world to pieces...but you can't bomb it into peace - Michael Franti*

11th Apr 2009, 07:39 AM	#7
aerwolfen Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: and a few friends Location: winnipeg manitoba Age: 50 Posts: 178 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! welcome to the EC family,coming out to us is your first step,with a load of wonderful people and all types of experience at your finger tips,just ask,were here to help and listen,have fun. __________________ if your looking for me,when times are rough,and your feeling abit odd,jump onto my rainbow,it leads to cloud nine,no worries,I'll be there with open arms and a hug for peaceful bliss.

11th Apr 2009, 08:21 AM	#8
Just Adam <3 Oscar Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Anyone with an open mind Location: My AV room Age: 24 Posts: 6,082 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! welcome enjoy Ec __________________ Ninja Kick The Damn Rabbit !

11th Apr 2009, 08:29 AM	#9
pianomike EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Queer Out Status: Parents and a few close friends. Location: New York Age: 21 Posts: 364 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Welcome to the Family!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ To live would be an awfully big adventure... to die would be an awfully big adventure. - Peter Pan

11th Apr 2009, 12:53 PM	#10
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 30 Posts: 4,220 Join Date: Dec 2008 Tournaments Won: 21	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Hello and welcome, yes its great here

13th Apr 2009, 04:27 AM	#11
Revealed Well Known Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Most people know Location: Adelaide Age: 28 Posts: 220 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Another Aussie!! Yay!!!! Anyway...welcome to EC Mannix You'll be sure to find alot of people here who've gone through/ are going through the same situation. So don't be afraid to ask questions because we're all here to help. It's good that you're looking into your sexuality & trying to find what's right for you. I've never felt blown off my feet by guys either. I did cave in & date a few, but the relationships didn't last because I wasn't truly attracted to them, I just wanted to see if I could do it. But it turns out I couldn't & I'm happy with that because I think women are gorgeous I'm glad to hear that you know you're friends would be supportive if you came out to them. Receiving a positive response will make the process that little bit easier. You mentioned some may be shocked. If they are, so be it. Everyone will react differently. The only important thing is that they accept you. After all, you're not changing in any way, you're just sharing another part of who you are. Parents can be a tricky subject when it involves talking about sexuality. I myself have come out to my mum, dad & brother, but not any other member of the family. I suggest reading through the coming out section because parents are a hot topic. You might find something useful amongst the posts As for getting some more experience in the area, I agree with Apocolypte in regards to approaching a GLBT club at your university. It's a good start in getting some face-to-face support & even getting to know other GLBT members. Good luck & keep us posted on how things are going

13th Apr 2009, 05:07 AM	#12
Psychedelic Bookmarks Helena Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Close family and quite a few friends Location: UK Age: 19 Posts: 2,194 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Hey! There are quite a few of us here in similar situations. I've never been with a girl or a boy in any sort of semi-serious way so I'm pretty unsure at the moment too. But it is also possible to be sure even though you're inexperienced. Both are fine. Either way, the best thing is to try (it's hard, I know) not to get too uptight about the whole thing, but to just go with the flow and enjoy meeting whoever comes along. I agree with apocalypte that your university's LGBT society would be a good place to start to meet other queer girls. __________________ "I refuse to recognize the terms hetero-, bi-, and homo-sexual. Everybody has exactly the same sexual needs. People are just sexual, the prefix is immaterial." (Morissey)

13th Apr 2009, 02:16 PM	#13
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 7,200 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! This is me waving "hi"

13th Apr 2009, 02:28 PM	#14
Michael1992 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends only Location: UK Age: 20 Posts: 58 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! Hey and welcome to EC! My mam is always giving me the question "You're not gay are you??" aswell. Good Luck! x __________________ [Maxxie's wearing devil horns] Cassie: Wow, Maxxie, you look all horny. Maxxie: You can tell?

13th Apr 2009, 09:16 PM	#15
twixy30 finding myself Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: ok i think i got this now i REALLY like GIRLS yeah Out Status: more people then i thought i would tell & EC Location: Dallas, texas Age: 35 Posts: 316 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Just introducing myself, sorry it's so long! welcome you will love it here __________________ we are special in our own way! never let anyone tell you your notTwix

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