Hey everyone. I just registered here because I need someone to talk to about this.. it's making me crazy. :icon_sad: A couple years ago - I was 18 - I came out to my parents through a letter. Thing is: I was insecure about the whole thing (barely accepting myself and not even able to speak the words out loud), I'd never been in any kind of romantic relationship ( that fact hasn't changed and I'm still a virgin now :icon_redf ) and my parents didn't believe me. They told me it was a phase and that it was completely normal, that it would go away and that I couldn't be able to tell without ever being with a guy or a girl. Now I am turning 25 this year - in March actually - and I just can't bear this any longer. I'm lonely with this and I find that I am withdrawing from everyone more and more, also sinking into a depression once in a while. I've even thought about going to a psychologist or something but I don't know how to go about that either. Or if it would help. I feel that I have to tell them - and soon - or I might explode. However, even though my parents are loving, tolerant people (my mom even goes to a lesbian masseuse), I really am afraid of doing this for the second time. Because the last time I did it, my mom looked at me strangely for over a week and I was almost happy when she finally "forgot". We've never talked about it ever since then - my dad has tried to once about two years ago but I completely shut him down (I don't know why, maybe being at the public swimming pool at the time played some part of it)... Some other facts that might be interesting/of value for this: - We live in a very small village (about 1000 inhabitants) where most people are seniors - one of my uncles often makes "jokes" about gay people - There is no one gay (or out?!) in our little village besides the aforementioned masseuse and her partner I really don't know what to do anymore. Any advice? Did any of you have to go through this more than once?
Hi! Excluding the small village, we're in similar positions. I came out and went back into the closet 3 years ago. Like you, I was insecure. I also dealt with a lot of disbelief from others. This made my insecurities worse and I started doubting myself. After being in a long term relationship with a man, I'm ready to come out (again) and be my true self. I don't have any advice for you unfortunately. I can only offer support until I come out again, myself.
Copy on your message. Heres one thing that stands out with me. Your "state of being" your chee is in a race. Withdraw and depression is very real and you must take positive steps to avoid this life route. You need to network. This means you need to find a community of like minded people. This will give you an outlet, information, acceptance, mentors, and maybe just maybe a partner. A partner may allow you to explore and discover your emotions. How to network? Dont know about Germany. Gay bar, clubs, organizations, etc. In the States some cities have gay bowling night. I personally am in the process of going to a city to participate in gay bowling night for I to need to network more. Hope this helps.
