When is the right time?

Ok.. I'm gonna be really metaphoric, but I hope this helps:

Self-denial usually leads to dark places... but, as you come to know your true self... as you learn how to love yourself, and as you learn how to accept yourself, this dark fades. And with the dark all of your fears, insecurities, doubts and worries will fade. Then you start to see and feel the light again, when you live in peace with yourself. After all this happens, you will care less and less about what other people think and what other people might say behind your back. You will understand that happiness comes not from outside, but from within.

Whenever you are prepared to come out, you will know.

It is a rather difficult process... but sooner or later we all manage go through it.

Whenever you feel down, or depressed: eyes on the reward, which is nothing other than true happiness.

Don't try to rush things... every thing will come at the right time. Be strong.

Good luck!

 

"The right time" varies from person to person. Each case is very unique to the individual.

For example, the right time to come out to my mum was whenever I felt ready, because I knew it wouldn't affect much.
On the other hand, the right time for my dad to find out would be when I don't need his money and when I'm able to stay away from him as much as possible.

The first and foremost important thing is that you are out to yourself and are able to embrace your sexuality as much as possible. People who are not accepting of their own sexuality can find it awkward to come out to people. It helps to be able to say "this is me and this will always be me, and I accept that.".

It is useful to be prepared and confident. It's your time so you can use it however you want to. People will ask questions, and it's normal for questions like "is this a phase?" or "How do you know that you're gay" to be asked. It helps to be ready to answer and ready for changes in your relationships with people. Most friends and family are very accepting. Sometimes it takes time, but there are not many stories of people who are permanently rejected. I know there are people on here who have come out to extremely homophobic parents only to be surprised at how they adapt to their sexuality. When push comes to shove, they love you.

The time is of your choosing. Take as much or as little of it as you see suited to your situation.

 

I know the advise you're getting might seem text book, but you will know when the time is right. I just came out to myself and I haven't told anyone yet. Don't feel like you have to rush. Live with being gay for a while and not trying to hide it. If someone asks and you want to tell them then go ahead.

 

If being in the closet is causing you more suffering, guilt, depression and so on than what you might face if you actually come out, its time to come out. Once the cons to staying in start to out-weight the cons of coming out.

Or if you are 100% accepting of your own sexuality, then it might be the time to come out. If you think something along the lines of: "I am gay. I love myself for being gay. I accept myself for who i am." then you are ready. This point is actully quite hard to reach though. You almost have to get to the point were if someone offered you to become straight you would turn them down. Not because you dont WANT to be straight, but because you know that if you were you would not be the same person that you are now.

I never had a "moment" that just "felt right". I almost had to force that moment, otherwise i would still be closeted. Your always going to find a way to back down if you dont push yourself atleast a tiny bit.

 

youll know when the time comes. i know that sounds really cliche and may not help all that much, but its true. plus, dont b in a rush- u should b in a comfortable position when u decide tell more ppl.

 

I know I have felt the exact same way.I wish that the right time to come out to Mom & Dad would come soon because I am ready to tell them,but things just keep coming up and I just can't tell them just yet,but I wish now was the right time.

 

I think the people here always tell others to come out,when you're ready. We would never just tell someone that they have to come out.
That being said,we encourage people who seek our encouragement. It is always up to the person who's coming out. Like others have said,take your time,get to know who YOU are and take it from there. We'll be here for you. THAT'S what EC is all about.

 

I think you might have arrived at 'the time'.

When it's worse to stay in the closet than you think it will be to come out of the closet, that's the time to come out. It's almost one of those natural laws. Like every action has an equal and oposite reaction.

Remember that coming out doesn't need to be completely out vs. completely not. I think it IS tougher when you're in highschool. But just because you want to come out to those people you're uncomfortable 'lying' to doesn't mean everyone needs to know...

Good luck - and welcome to EC!

 

For me, the right time was when I felt like lying and hiding was harder than it would be to come out. If you've accepted yourself and are comfortable with your sexuality, that's a great start.

 

The right time for me was when I was sick of hiding the real me, sick of people asking things like "You got a girlfriend yet?" silly things yet they really got to me.

When you are comfortable with yourself being gay i think that is the right time. You just might need to push yourself a little to do the actual coming out part

 

oh matt!
ya i think you should only come out when you are ready. i came out to my parents separately and it helped. maybe try that...

if you ever need any help/have questions just call me
maggi

 

I don't think one has to "come out." Well, not in the "TA-DA" sense.

If one just starts living his life, seeing whom he chooses, others will catch on. Remember, if you remain calm and don't act as if it's an issue, others will react the same way.

But to answer your original question, you will know when the time is right.