It's not because it's not yet something I feel comfortable talking about. I am not yet comfortable with the fact that I am a lesbian(but I'm getting there), but I still want my parents to know. Pretty much I'm out to my two best friends and anyone who asks. My best friends are the only people I feel comfortable talking about my feelings with, and if someone I barely know asks, I tell them. It's not something I bring up. My mom is one of the people who knows because she asked. Anyway, I do want to bring it up with my dad. I know he wouldn't care that I'm gay. He is okay with that sort of thing. The thing is, he's not much of a dad. He barely talks to me. He didn't tell me when his phone broke, which was before Christmas. We were kind of fighting at the time, so I texted to his broken phone and tried to wish him a Merry Christmas. He didn't wish me a Merry Christmas because he didn't know I tried to say it to him. Anyway, the fight I just mentioned was because we made plans and he didn't show up. Our plans were to meet up some time on a specific day. So I spent all day trying to contact him. I was incredibly frustrated because I had spent my day thinking about when the hell he would contact me and waiting. I was sad and angry, I didn't get a response until late at night. He was all, "I got a migraine. If you want to be mad at me because I get migraines, fine." That's not why I was mad at him. It's because I felt stood up, and he couldn't bother telling me that the plans were off. And he tried to make me feel bad for being upset. Also, this isn't the first time this had happened. I'd say he doesn't show up for half the plans we make. And he wonders why I don't like to make my day centered around plans with him. He is an incredibly manipulative person, and he used to make me and my mother feel like shit all the time with the things he would say. I am a very anti-tobacco person(I don't hate people who smoke, I just would never ever do it myself),yet I love to eat. And I do eat, a lot, more than I should. One time I was getting a snack, and he said under his breath, "You are so going to be a smoker." That really cut deep. It seemed to be a comment about how I was a little addicted to food. This is just one example of the stupid shit he has said to me and my mom. Also, he tries to get out of paying child support as much as he can. I still receive child support because I am a child in school. Well recently, he told CPS that I am not in school, because he "didn't know". He doesn't talk to me enough to know that I am in school, and now I have to deal with Child Support people and figure out what paper work I need to do to continue receiving support. I am a child in school, and I do need his money. He also never pays the full amount that he is supposed to. This is just a small amount of the things I can rant about him. He's kinda done a lot of shit. Lmao. Long story short, he's never there for me. He's barely a dad. He gave me the DNA I needed to exist then decided not to be supportive in the way a father should be. He wants to be respected as a dad, but he doesn't act like one. Instead he gives all his money and attention to his girlfriend's family. His girlfriend is someone he cheated on my mom with, and decided to flea to when she found out. He is still my dad and I wish I could tell him I'm gay. It is kind of a big deal to me, and I feel like my parents should know. But he's barely a dad, and I can't bring myself to bring it up because I don't respect him as my father. I'm not really asking for advice. I just wanted to talk about this somewhere. And maybe, just maybe, someone has a situation similar to mine?
Assassin'sKat, Sounds like we have the same dad, down to the child support issue! My dad no longer lives with us and I haven't spoken to him in over ten years because he is bipolar and was described by a psychiatrist as "one of the worst narcissists she's ever seen". I think he had a homosexual experience in college, according to my mom, and I often wondered about his orientation. I think he wouldn't care if I was gay, but he displayed a lot of homophobia when I was growing up. Although I do think that was because he may have had tendencies and his brother was very violent against gays and blacks. Anyway, I did tell my stepdad, who is a hillbilly from Hicksville where they don't like gays, and he was way more supportive than my modernized mom! We actually ended up having a relationship after I trusted him. So from my experience, I don't trust my biological dad and feel being gay is so integral to who I am that he doesn't deserve the chance to make me feel bad about it or to know the real me. I also worry he'll take satisfaction in having "made me gay," like he had enough power over me to break me, even though it's not true. However, my stepdad was also a risk, but one I took because he deserved a chance to be trusted. I won't give advice because it's up to you. Personally, if a man who provides your DNA doesn't act like a father or earn your respect as one, there will be other men who will and they are worth getting to know the real you. I can see your dad does hurt you and don't want to see you get hurt in the worst way. Remember how you felt about the smoking comment? Imagine if he made a dig like that about you being gay? So you're not alone in your situation, just protect yourself (*hug*)
As a father of young girls your story breaks my heart. One of the worst things us "later in lifers" face is the prospect of being cut off from our children. Then there's guys like your dad who, quite frankly, don't deserve you. The problem lies wholly with them and has nothing to do with you. You said you don't want advice so I won't offer any. It sounds like you have a good bead on your dad's deal anyway. Just know that you definitely deserve better.
