Hey, I'm unique0username. I'm a 15 year old guy in a southern state confused about his sexual orientation. Let's get right into it. I am completely unsure of whether I'm gay, asexual, straight, bisexual, none of these, all of these, or a slice of pie. Despite the weird tone of this thread, I am completely serious (other than the slice of pie; that was a joke). I've been thinking, and I am probably gay of all of these things. I don't really feel any attraction to a girl ever, so bisexual and straight are out. However, I don't know if it's a phase, and I haven't fully completed puberty to the point where I am attracted to girls (I do have pubic and armpit hair, so that point does not make a whole lot of sense but still). I don't know if I'm attracted to guys. I don't get a boner around guys at school, but between you and me, I jack off to some of them at home. The fetish that I have is really the source of my confusion about guys. I have a male hair fetish. I am unsure if I am attracted to guys or their hair. I can recognize when a girl is hot. (I'm really rambling here) I'm not really feminine like a stereotypical gay guy (I know that a lot of homosexual men aren't), so I don't think many people would expect me to be gay. I haven't told anyone. That brings me to the next problem. I don't have any problem with being gay. I've already accepted the possibility, but I don't want to come out until I'm sure. I don't want to be like, "Hey, do you remember how I said I was gay? Yeah that wasn't completely true..." I'll go ahead and say I'm not Christian, so it isn't really against my religion (unless it is and I don't know. If it is I don't really care.) My mom and dad would be hard to tell, but I think that they would be accepting. The problematic people are my schoolmates and friends. I've already decided to wait until college to come out if I am gay. I go to a Christian all boys school. The people there aren't the most understanding, and they use the words gay and even faggot (I didn't mean to offend anyone by writing it; this is just listing the word as a word rather than it's meaning) derogatorily. Today I even heard one of them say that he stopped hanging out with his friend who he came out a few years before. I asked him why, and he says because he was gay. That's what they were raised to believe, and I understand that. However, I would not want to ruin high school by coming out. Thanks for reading this; I'll be glad to write any follow up or anything. ---------- Post added 21st Jan 2017 at 09:01 PM ---------- Sorry didn't mean to post this twice, please reply to the other post.
Hey unique0username! Welcome to the forum! (&&&) Well since you said you're a guy and you're going through puberty and everything, I'm not sure if I can give you thorough advice, given that i am a female lesbian... But I understand what it's like to be really confused about your sexuality and thinking about all the what-if's and I get how it could become a huge headache sometimes. You're right you shouldn't feel pressured or feel obliged to come out until you know it for sure. Which brings me to my first point. I know that a lot of things are worrying you like friends and family right now but that honestly that shouldn't be your concern until you finally decide to come out! You're main concern should be knowing who you are. It seems you're off to a good start: you said you don't have a problem being gay. This is good because it'll stop you from going into too much denial. My advice honestly is to let go and give it some time. Stop thinking about it for a while. I know how things like sexuality and romance might feel so important in high school, but as long as you're constantly thinking about this in you're head, you'll never get to the answer because this is something your brain figures out unconsciously. This sounds cliche but all you can do is let life lead its course. Focus on something else instead, like grades or extra curriculars. You might even meet someone, fall in love. Who knows? My second point: so IF you become sure that you're not straight. I recommend you come out to yourself first. Be fully comfortable with the idea that you're gay/bi/asexual. Reach out to the LGBT+ community (I see you already have a bit). Get a tumblr, go on youtube, learn about the subculture. Next you need to find people around you that you are SURE they would accept AND support you to come out to first. This is because you should always put your safety first, especially when you're a minor or can't financially support yourself. You might want to go to college and need someone to pay for it. You seem to be confident that you're parents would be fine with it but you never know... (Some parents could believe in marriage equality but find it difficult to accept their own child being gay. that was my case lol). Only come out when you know you're safe and comfortable to do so. As for school and your friends, again, you don't have to come out. It might be good to know your school/state's policy regarding LGBT harassment and discrimination. Be aware of the possible consequences. If your school has a GSA, then maybe join them? I know this sounds a bit dark but remember none of this is your fault and that even if you don't come out, you've still got a warm and welcoming community waiting for you once you graduate and become an adult. In the mean time, just relax and focus on something else! Love, Triple Phoenix
