Is it worth it?

Hard choice.

I have not told either of my grandparents and never will. They are so homophobic its not even funny. Its just how they grew up though. Old people are generally stubborn so if you think its as easy for them to change there views you are often wrong.

I wouldent tell them if they are very old and you know they are homophobic.

 

I'm holding off on telling some of my extended family - my mad homophobic great-aunt for one. The way I see it is that she just doesn't need to know, it'd make her life worse knowing that there's a lesbian in the family, and it'd make my life worse because she'd be trying to convert me every time we spoke. I don't think it'll do anyone any good. Your case might be different, I guess it depends on how often you see your gran, but I'd be very cautious.

 

Yea, like i said, its most likely just wishful thinking.

"You cant teach an old dog new tricks"

aka

"You cant get old people to be un-homophobic"

xD

 

Well the thing is, if you do, you may not be treated the same way. But if you don't, she could die without ever knowing the real you.

Tough decision...

 

I guess I am the lucky one then.I just found out over New Year's that my maternal grandmother's cousin was gay and that his father disowned him and his mother didn't even mind that he was gay.No one else in the family was bothered by it.Now my Dad's side of the family will likely be different and that's why I want to avoid coming out to them completely if I can.

 

I wouldn't make it a priority if nothing else. One of my friends is fairly openly gay, and is out to his parents, and most of his family, but not his grandparents. His grandparents are quite similar to yours, very homophobic, thinking that being gay is a disease.

He plans on never telling them, and his parents agree with the decision. In fact his extended family basically covers for him at big family get togethers.

 

I personally dont think its worth it. theres a couple relatives im not bothering to tell for similar reasons.

 

I would say it's not worth it I know I am never coming out to my grandparents because they are really homophobic. I came out to my parents even though they are really homophobic too because I knew they would have to know sooner or later but there is no way it was worth it. If you know she won't take it well I think I is better just to leave it.

 

Do you know how she reacted to finding out your other family member was gay?

If she reacted badly then no need to tell her.
(!)

 

It really depends on how close to your extended family you are. I mean I only see my grand-parents once like a month or two so not v. close. Im never planning of telling them, its just something that wouldn't be good!!!
xx

 

I was extremely lucky with my Grandmother on my dad's side. She didn't even bat an eye!
She told me she loved me and just wanted me to be happy.
Now...my mother's mom was a totally different story. She was a racist,a bigot and a homophobe. And I took a kinda perverse pleasure in letting her know!
But that is me and that's how I dealt with it.
I agree that those who would take it really badly,should just be left in the dark. Who needs that crap,anyway? Just be happy with yourself and don't sweat the rest.

 

I guess I was lucky (or very obvious) :icon_wink My grandma on my mom's side of the family asked me a few years ago if I was gay. My reaction to her question was ... eyes wide open...jaw dropped...and looking silly. But since she had asked me "out of the blue" I said a in a firm....almost decisive ... middle of the road kind of away.... "I think I am". She handled it very well. :icon_wink Now... on the otherhand, I would never tell my dads parents.... they would totally dis-own me. :lol: