Hi I'm a Christian and I believe in God without a doubt but I really like this girl and have never really felt anything for boys. I know almost definitely that I'm a lesbian, but lots of people in my church and my parents think homosexuality is wrong. I personally don't think that's what God thinks but I can't possibly tell my Mom or anyone because she'll just say it's a phase and it's all in my head. I would love to come out but I just know I would never be accepted by my family, for all I know thay might put me on therapy or something. I don't want to cause a conflict between my mom and me because we get along quite well at the moment and I don't want to spoil that. But the more I keep I to myself the more I would love to just tell everybody. I'm totally new to this whole thing but I wondered if there were any other people in the same situation and to be honest I just wanted someone to talk with.
Yeah, they (that is, parents) so often use the infuriating word "phase" don't they? All in your head? Of course it is, where else would it be, in your elbow? "Change therapy?" That is truly scary, they think they're sending you to heaven but it's the opposite. I have strong opinions (maybe not faith) about God(dess) and what Jesus would do or say about an honest and intelligent girl like you. But I have to admit I haven't been in the situation. My mom called herself Christian, but expressed that by example, not preaching. This is not an uncommon question here on EC though. I hope other people will chime in with experience and advice. Also, try searching around the older posts. There is a lot there on the topic. This community can change your life. All the best! ---------- Post added 29th Jan 2017 at 10:38 AM ---------- Oh, yes, and I originally noticed your post because of your name. Anyone called Happypotato must have something good going for them!
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it, I honestly just joined EC because I was just done with having to keep it all to myself. I've never talked about it to my mom but I kind of always have known what she will think about it. Also asking; Hey mom what do you think about the whole lgbtq+ thing? Just might be a bit too obvious. Thanks fot the tip about though, and yes I do very much identity as a happy potato, or a friendly duck if you will.
im a queer christian too, and it can be hard. i would suggest lowkey bringing up it up in conversations, like telling stories that have, for example, a gay couple in them, or watching movies and tv shows with gay people in them to see how people around them react. try to surround yourself with lgbtqia+ accepting and queer ppl as well, so that you have someone to vent face to face. if you go to a public school, that should be relatively easy (im guessing youre in school as if you were a legal adult your family wouldnt be able to send you to therapy). christian schools can depend. i go to a christian school and while theres lots of conservatives and homophobic ppl, the school does not promote homophobia and the teachers are against it (tho some do not agree with gay) and you can still usually find lgbt+ allies or queer ppl there. theres also the internet of course, where you can find people who understand obviously, which im guessing is why youre here. finally, if you come out Hope Remains Homosexuality and the Bible - Home is a good place to show your parents/other people.
Thanks, and yes, I go to the equivalent of a high school in the Netherlands. My friend all accept lgbtq+ people, in fact my best friends sister is a lesbian herself. But I don't feel like I can tell anybody before I want to tell my mom because I wouldn't want to risk her finding out about it without me having told her myself. But I will try bringing it up in conversations and maybe I'll gain some information, thanks for the tip!
Same. I am in the exact same situation as you. For me, my entire family, immediate and extended, is very VERY Irish Catholic. My mom is usually more accepting, she is a covert from the Methodist church, but my dad and older brother are both very homophobic, as well as two of my best friends. Firstly, joining EC was a huge positive step, I've been here only about a month and yet I have receive so much kind and positive advice I find myself already much more confident in me, so I really think this site will be good for you. Late last year, I found it helpful to come out to a couple of my friends who knew I would accept me first; having their positive response gave me more confidence to mention it to another one of my more religious friends, who actually took it quite well. I wouldn't start by telling your parents, having the negative response (I'm not sure what your situation is like, but for many people this may include abuse) can deter you from being comfortable as you and in your other relationships. Plus, having your friends to back you up is always wonderful, and if you later do tell your parents and things go badly, there is someone who knows what happened and why and can give you a safe place for a while.
Thanks, it's really positive to hear that I'm not the only one in this situation. Also I think it's great to be able to be completely honest here about all the stuff I couldn't say out loud in real life. And you never know I might come out to my friends in a while if I've found the courage to do so...
thats an actual threat tbh like my mom found out i wasnt striaght before i came out via going throguh all my stuff thankfully my fam isnt homophobic but yeah if you do tell your friends make sure not to talk about it over text or email and if you do delete the convos after
