I'm 27 years old and a few months ago I admitted to myself that I might be gay. I'm not comfortable with it but as the years go on I can't run from it. I've had a lot of mental problems for years with depression anxiety probably relating to this. I don't know what to do. I know I'm gay but I don't want to be out where I come from I find it very uncomfortable. I feel like I would be embarrassing my family. The one person who I think would take it badly is my dad. He's always been volatile about things in part because of problems with mental health. I'm also involved in a family business with him. Sometimes I think it would be better for me to go away and live my life and get my head around this first and take it from there. I can't bare to think of stopping the business because there has been a lot of money put into it and I would feel embarrassed about what other people would think about me stopping it although the investment would all still be there if I left. I think I'm looking at it from an emotional point of view instead of seeing black and white which means I can't make a decision on it. I was thinking of taking a holiday to San Francisco for a week to see what it is like although I'm a bit worried with all that's going on politically in America although I'd still like to go. I hope this makes some sense I've just wrote this out as I thought it. I'd be grateful for any advice.
Go to San Fransisco! Don't worry about our politics it's mostly just the media blowing things out of proportion. I struggled like you my whole life and finally came out to a few friends at the age of 47. I lost a lot of years, if I could go back to age 27 and come out I would. You are or were living in denial. You must first accept yourself as gay. Do you have a best friend or someone you can tell? Even a councillor? When you get that off of Your chest it is like what everyone describes, like a weight being lifted off of you. Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy! You are not going to be a different person, you will be the same person. Be the real you! It sounds like telling your dad might be tough, I don't know what to tell you for that, or for the family business. If you have to make a decision to walk away from all of that and start over because it will make you happy than so be it. I think you should think about coming out to your father, I think if he loves you he will take it well. I'm not sure if all my rambling helped but I hope it did even if just a little. Travel to San Francisco though, give yourself a break and spend sometime reflecting on yourself as a person. Love yourself for who you are. Good luck my friend.
Hi! I understand to what you're going through, since I am a closed lesbian and also work in the family business. My family is very homophobic, especially my father, so I decided to look for another job preferably in another city. I tried to be straight for a long time, and it was hard to admit to myself that I'm a lesbian. Now I just want to try to create a stable environment in my life to be who I am. Please, don't be embarrassed about what other people would say if you leave your job. If you feel that being around your father at work will not be good to you perhaps you would consider working with something else. I hope things are going well for you.
YOU have to live your own life. You can't live the life somebody else wants you to have! Trust me I hid for over 30 years. It's not worth it! Dean
