Hi guys, So i recently wrote a thread after I was at a gay bar (well I only made it outside!), and a guy I knew saw me. I completely freaked out, it was a disaster! (Link below if you're interested) http://emptyclosets.com/forum/general-support-advice/229913-i-fucked-up.html After; some good advice on the thread, speaking to a therapist, and deciding I can't live like this and I don't give a shit anymore (well less of a shit :icon_bigg)....here goes round 2 of coming out. I read in a book that if you tell people that you are going to do something, it increases the chances that you will do it! So here goes: 1) I have just prior to writing this, texted the guy I know that saw me at the gay bar (he's also gay, but out). I admitted I was gay, and we had a great talk! (Number of people now out to ...up to 3 (!) ) 2) Tonight I will text my sister and tell her. 3)Tomorrow morning I will groupchat text my group of 6 friends! Wish me luck!
Sounds like you had a great session with the therapist! And I assume the guy you texted with was supportive? How do you expect your sister and six friends to take the news? I am curious, why have you decided to group chat your friends rather than tell them individually (not that it really matters, I told five guys I was close to all at the same time as part of my coming out and it went very well)?
Hi again OnTheHighway, It was a good session. Just talked a lot about my plans and what happens after I do it. Yeah, the guy was great! Worried myself for nothing, mind you thats how my life works I think they should be good. I'm confident it should go ok. But then there's that voice in my head that tells me they will all hate me, but that's never going to go away, so will just have to ignore. Why all together? Because I simply could not deal with the stress of having to tell them all individually. It is so much easier to hit send and get it over a done with. I know it is not ideal, but at this stage, if it gets the job done, it'll be fine!
Thanks guys, Haha yes it is a big turn around! Hopefully a good thing. Sick and tired of feeling like shit. Sitting back isn't doing anything. These sort of things tend to eventually happen to me anyway and in a bad way. So like the guys in the other thread said...i can control what happens. So I am. (Kind of talking myself out of goal number 2 at the minute, so going to do it soon I think before I chicken out completely!!)
You can do it! Once you do it so much stress will just disappear, maybe not that second but in a few days it sinks in and a weight is lifted. At least that was my experience. Best of luck to you.
Haha you couldn't make this shit up if you tried..... So i worked up the courage to text my sister and tell her. First i tested the waters to see if she was able to deal with something like this at the moment or if she was stressed at work or had other problems. She replied saying that she couldnt talk as she was at a wedding. So i decided that i wouldnt give her something to worry or think about, and to let her enjoy her day. She then proceeded to send me a picture of the wedding couple. Which turned to be one of her best friends, who is a man, and who happens to be marrying another man :lol: Oh well, i wont make her deal with this now, as she will probably want to call to talk. Tomorrow's another day
Ok so goal number 2 completed last night and went really well. Now on to the tough one. Number 3. I aimed to do it in the next 3/4/5 hours. But ive kind of realised my plan is shit. And now i dont know how im going to do it
Fuck. Maybe i was wrong. I sent the message. Its been 20-30 minutes since some of them read the message, and still not even a reply. I thought these would be ok with it. I think i might have made a big mistake. Shit.
Sorry. Panicked again. They've all gotten back to me. They were great :icon_bigg . Wont see any of them face to face until i go back home later today, bit nervous but i'm sure it will be ok. So job done now what next?
Hey, nice done! Congratulations ^^ Everyone panics! I did too, when I sent my best friend a text and she didn't answer. She was actually just distracted by her mother, so things like that happen ^^ So, what do you want to do next?
Hey Jolly Hermione, Thanks I know I'm going to still have this awkward feeling when I see some of them later, but I suppose that's normal. I don't know what comes next! I never really thought I would get this far. So I genuinely don't know... The gay guy that I had been talking to said that if I ever want to go to a gay bar with a friend he would be happy to go. But to be honest just because I have come out to some friends, doesn't really mean I'm much more comfortable with being gay than I was a week ago.
I'm so happy that they took it well. I was just as nervous before I told my male best friend. We were at a diner getting tacos when I told him. His response was " Can you pass the salsa? Oh and I had a feeling but it doesn't change anything about you! You just gotta get more comfortable with it and take it easy. Take care!
Hey man, Hope you're doing ok(*hug*) Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better. I definitely do need to get more comfortable.Even more so than I thought apparently. My friends just game up to my apartment to see me, and I was even more uncomfortable than I thought I would be. They were great! But when they started asking questions, my voice started to shake and I started fidgeting with everything. I even had to ask them to keep it down a bit in case my housemates heard. Even though I know I shouldn't be uncomfortable anymore with them, I was. I eventually had to say "sorry, I'm still pretty awkward about this". They understood though. Said they had loads of questions but would wait until I was more comfortable. Thanks again lad, take care yourself
