I had planned months ago that I would come out on January 31st to my parents.I know they would be home and I knew I was ready to tell them...but when we were all sitting down to dinner I couldn't actually come out and tell them.I did the same thing with my grandmother.I was going to tell her around Valentine's day when we had dinner together,but I didn't come out to her that night either. I don't know if it's the fact that I am setting a specific date for me to come out on or if I subconciously know I am not ready to come out even if I feel more than ready to. So is it really neccessary to have a specific date in mind when you are planning to come out?
Absolutely not! The best coming outs are when it happens spontaneously! You may be sitting with your parents talking and the next thing you know, its spilling out. Either way you want to do it is fine.
I think it depends on personal preferance, I think some people find it easier to prepare mentally if they have a set date and time when they are planning to do it, so that they can perhaps write down what they want to say and plan it all out. But other people are better to just go for it when the moment seems right, without all the pressure and stress in the build up. I dont think either way is better or more right than the other I think it depends which you feel more comfortable with. Maybe if you feel like you are ready to come out you could write down what you want to say, so that when it comes to it your not lost for words. I am not out to my parents so cant talk from experience but when I prepare to tell my friends I always say to them before hand, 'I need to talk to you about something' because then its harder for me to back out at the last minute, but thats only if your sure you want to. There is nothing wrong with not being ready to tell them. Im not sure this will help sorry.
Becky,that's how my psychology teacher came out to her family.Totally spontaneously at the dinner table one Christmas Eve.It sounds really appealing so I don't have time to psych myself out. Silverhalo,it does help thank you for the suggestion to write things down before I say anything.I express myself so much better in written form as opposed to verbal form anyway.
Silver's got it. Write it down. You can even just hand them a letter if you'd like. There's nothing wrong with that at all, although it's best if you stick around so you can answer any questions they have. And no, a specific date isn't necessary. It IS tempting to wait for the "right moment", but just know that the right moment rarely if ever comes....and even if it does, you might not be ready for it. So just find the time that's right for you. Lex
I agree with Becky, the best way to come out is spontaneously. At least, that's what I've always done. You'll know when to say it, you'll see, it's a special feeling.
Like everyone else has said, setting an exact date probably isn't the best way of going about it. You never know what will happen on that day - someone might be in a really bad mood, or someone might have to go out unexpectedly, or one of heaps of other things could happen that would make that day not the best. And if you focus on one day, you might let another time that could work really well pass by. Plan it out, by all means, but I don't think being rigid about exactly when you do it is the best idea.
