i am 20 y/o, but will live financially under my parents for at least the next year. my parents support the lgbt community as much as they can, and even have let my boyfriend (who is going through transition and is currently 6/mo on hrt) live with us for a 1 1/2 years and a half now. they refer to him with his chosen name and pronouns, and apologize when they mess up. they seem to genuinely care for him. however, they are not so easily understanding to me, and often times resist when i come out with denial. i have identified as a bisexual female to them for years. when i came out as bi, at around 11 years old, my mom's response was 'no, you're not.' it was not brought up again until i 14 years old, when bringing home a girlfriend, my mom told me to not tell my dad, as he didn't accept gays. he believed men should marry women, and women should marry men. by 15, my parents had accepted that i was a "lesbian woman," despite expressing i was bisexual. i would be told often that bisexuality doesn't exist, and yelled at if i attempted to argue otherwise. they have only recently stopped. i have multiple transgender friends as they give me a sense of belonging. my parents are understanding to their pronouns and names. at 18 years old, i came out to my mom as trans. she said i 'love being a girl' and accused me of being influenced by my friends and trying to 'fit in' and refused to call me my name and pronouns. i expressed that i have many transgender friends because like finds like, and she asked if this was a 'fucking joking.' i broke down crying about a week later, asking if she would still love me if i were a transgender male. she said yes. afterwards, she referred to me still with she/her pronouns and refused to call me my desired name. it has been 2 years, and she acts as if nothing happened. my dad has said that he "couldn't handle if i came out as trans" and he "raised me as his daughter" in side comments. he has stated that he loves my boyfriend, but he wouldn't be happy if i were trans. i feel lost. i wish to be on hrt, but i know i will never be supported by my parents. i don't know what to do. i want them to understand me, but i always feel like an exception to their rule. i feel as if i will never transition, and deny myself the thought of being transgender due to the denial i have faced and knowing i will never be able to be how i wish to. my father is verbally abusive, my mother is somewhat harsher due to years of dealing with him as well as a neglectful and alcoholic father. she attempts her best to understand, but can be influenced easily by my father. sorry if any of this is annoying, i just feel like i don't know what to do. :icon_sad:
