Hi, I'm an 18 year old gay male, and I'm thinking about coming out. I've known I was gay since I was 12 or 13, but have never told anyone mostly because of my parents' views. My parents are outspoken critics of the LGBT movement; my mom sees homosexuality as a choice that some people make and are damned to hell for it. My dad also opposes gay marriage, though he accepts civil unions for them; he doesn't mind homosexuality, as long as it doesn't "affect him personally". I'm very scared of what will happen if I tell them about my sexuality, especially because I'm an only child. I'm Chinese, and my parents care a lot about me having children and continuing my generation; even though I think my dad knows about my sexuality (he blocked all the gay porn sites I visited for about two years before stopping), he still tells me about how he wants me to bring my children for him to help raise after I get married. I'm not sure if he thinks my homosexuality is just a phase, or if he wants me to marry someone anyways and hide my sexuality. Any advice for how to proceed?
First of all, I wouldn't recommend coming out to them if you do not have a place where they could go if they kick you out or if the environment is simply too unfriendly. If you think they will make a scene, you may want to do it in a public place, such as a restaurant, so that they will be less likely to shout at you. However, if they would make a big deal of it anyways, try doing it at home to spare the embarrassment. If you think that they won't hear you out or interrupt you, or if you simply feel to nervous to tell them in person, consider writing them a note and leaving it someplace where they will find it (for example, on their pillow). Good luck with your coming out, I hope it goes well for you!
As a fellow closeted person, who's parents are semi-orthodox and conservative (I'm Indian), I chose not to come out to them for that exact reason. I agree with MewDew wholeheartedly that it's better you come out once you have some financial independence and can live elsewhere while they cool off or something once you do come out to them. I'm waiting to do the same. Why don't you try to gauge their feelings in the meantime and see whether they would actually accept you, after all their love for their child could trump their views on LGBT. . Good luck.
