1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How long did you stay in the closet?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jmiller85, Feb 6, 2017.

  1. Jmiller85

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2015
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
  2. findingjoy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2016
    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    130
    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
  3. guitar

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Southern Ontario, Canada
    I'll give two answers. From the time I *really* knew I was gay until coming out, about 1-2 years. I had inklings I was gay around 12 and shoved down in the depths of my psyche for about 10 years. So I guess perhaps 12 years or so?
     
  4. YeahpIdk

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2015
    Messages:
    967
    Likes Received:
    104
    Location:
    East Coast
    Once I started realizing, about a yea to be semi out, but I guess I'm still pretty in the closet. Only my parent and friends know. So going on a good 3ish years then. Hmmmm. Lol.
     
  5. AlecF

    AlecF Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    WI
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Since I was 15. Am 26 now. So I lost a decade of my life due to fear. Please do not let that happen to you
     
  6. Jmiller85

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2015
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm considering coming out, only my partner knows. It's hard hiding it.
     
  7. johndeere3020

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2016
    Messages:
    1,104
    Likes Received:
    426
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Around 30 years, still am in the closet but the chains are growing weak I think!
     
  8. sonic1337111

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2016
    Messages:
    272
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I knew i was bi by around April-May 2013 and i didn't come out until November 2016 so around 3 years and 5-6 months
     
  9. Lacayda

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2017
    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I suspected I was gay when I was 15, came out at age 17. It took me 2 1/2 years.
     
    #9 Lacayda, Feb 7, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2017
  10. europeanguy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2015
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    somewhere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    consciously, about a year and 2 months. (i was 17 when i realised, 18 when i told my parents). but i think i was in the closet even to myself since i was like 10 years old maybe even younger, as thinking about some of my memories, i very clearly liked guys a bit too much and liked girls way too little. i just never questioned my sexuality as anything other then straight till i was 17.
     
  11. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I like this answer. I did not consciously know I was in a closet. Once I accepted I was gay I stepped out.
     
  12. I'm gay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2016
    Messages:
    1,751
    Likes Received:
    809
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I knew I was gay by 12 or 13. Came out at 47.
     
  13. Majush93

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2015
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Slovakia
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I come out when I was 21 :wink:)
     
  14. lonewolf79

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2015
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Cape Town, South Africa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I knew around 15 but only came out when I was 25 ... so 10 years in the closet... and now I am back in ...
     
  15. Jolly Hermione

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2016
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Switzerland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I really started realising I was gay when I was 18 (before that I never really focussed on my feelings. I'm weird, okay? :lol:slight_smile:.

    This gives me 4 years in my closet ^^
     
  16. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2017
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Realized something was off since I was 8, and stayed closed in about it until recently so.... Almost 15 years
     
  17. AMMetric

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2017
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK/USA
    Started to think I was gay when I was 12, just recently "accepted" it, out to like 6 people so I guess I'm still in the closet.:icon_redf
     
    #17 AMMetric, Feb 7, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2017
  18. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My first real hint that I was gay was when I was 20.
    I told my first friend when I was 21.
    By 22, most of my friends knew.
    By 23 or 24, pretty much everybody knew.

    So, four years total. Although the first year was me waiting to see if this was "just a phase". :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  19. Linkmaste

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ontario
    First time a year and a half. Second time ten years? So let's go for ten years that I came out and staying out :grin:
     
  20. geekyboy18

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2016
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    About 6-7 years, realised I might be gay at 11/12, accepted it at 15, came out at 18.