I am seriously considering just coming out at this point. I've been thinking about this for years and was originally just going to wait another one and a half years until college before doing anything, but I'm just so fed up. While I'm pretty damn sure I want to live life as a guy, I want to just live life as just a guy and not a trans guy. I'm sure that's the same for everyone, but it's not something I want to go through, even though I just want to be happy. The thought of being referred to as he or Jayce (or whatever name I decide to choose) is enough to get me shaking from anxiety. For all this time it has just been me who has known about with, with the expectation of one internet friend. To suddenly have everyone else know about this secret I've been hiding for years is absolutely horrifying. I was thinking about what it would be like to hear 'Jayce' be called out in registration and to have my whole class hear it. Rather than feeling happy and accepted, I can only imagine myself having an anxiety attack or breaking down crying. Does anyone else feel this way? What are your experiences with coming out and being called by your chosen name or pronouns? I really just want to be happy, but I don't want to deal with the stress of coming out. There's also the question of 'what if I'm wrong' and then I've screwed myself over. I know that no matter how much I wait or think about it, that question will always be there and I'm going to end up being stuck in the same place forever. Should I just go for it? I have no idea. Anyways, thanks for your time
I get what you feel it's been almost 8 years since I know I'm trans. When I was 9 I came out to my mom and she didn't even try to understand me at all. She said that I'm just confused, so I stand there frozen tried to say that I mean it but I've been too scared to say, so I said "I'm just kidding" and I shouldn't have said that. 3 years later I came out again all what she told me is still the same. Now I'm 16 and I don't have to tell her anymore that I'm trans cuz she see the man in myself. She didn't fully accept me tho but at least now she's trying to understand... I did came out to some of my friends also. They all are so supportive(I guess). I saw they're reading a magazine about LBGT and asked me if I know what is trans. So I told them almost everything that I know. They asked me how could I memorize all that, so I said cuz I'm one of them. They're shocked and thankfully the bell rang, so we need to go back to class. I just let time make it clear to them. The next day they called me as my preferred name, which is Henry, and pronouns. Some of my classmates asked me why they call me that name, but I don't think it's necessary for them to know so I just said that it's my nickname. In my opinion, coming out is a personal thing, so I will come out to the people who I trust the most and who I think they should know. I recommend you to go for it, I know how it feels to not be accepted but at least it worth a try. (I live in Thailand, so it's hard for people to understand people like us. Because this's kinda new to everyone in my country. I even have to wear skirt to go to school and being in a catholic school doesn't make any better) But trust me no matter how close-minded people can be, they will have to let it slide cuz this's our life and no one can change who we are.
