I realised I wasn't straight about a year ago when I was 18 and after some confusing times I've finally come to realise I'm bisexual. My family and friends are all pretty progressive however I've noticed a lot of them making biphobic comments. These include all the typical things like "bisexuals don't exist" or "It's just their way of making coming out seem less intense" to even the classic "I would never date a bisexual because it's disgusting" etc. I even hear these sorts of comments from my friends who identify as gay or lesbian. I would really like to come out because I feel like I'm hiding a part of me but even if my friends are accepting of me to my face I'll still know what they think of me (or my identity) behind my back as I've heard some of the stuff they said when a male friend of ours came out as bisexual. Some of these comments come from some of my closest friends who say they are completely pro LGBT and even participate in rallies for LGBT rights. Whenever the conversation comes up I try to politely tell them that they're wrong and bisexuality is a valid identity but they still can't seem to understand. Every time I hear a biphobic comment I get further away from coming out and it's really messing with my head. What do I do?
I think you should come out to them and then explain what it means. Tell them that you are legitimate and it is completely possible for someone to be attracted to more than one gender. If they still refuse to accept you, you might need to find some better friends...
Uhg... you just discribed my high school life. I wanted to come out to the group of lesbians in my choir class but I kept hearing what you've described from them as well as straight people. So I didn't come out. Now I'm 36 and I really wish I had come out anyway, it only gets hard as you get older it seems. I can't tell you what to do. If you do decide to come out though you will find people who accept you. Some of your friends will, and some won't. If there is a bi support group in your area I recommend joining it, being a bisexual is hard. We have a very low amount of acceptance and support all around.
You may be surprised that they understand if you explain to them. Obviously we don't know your friends so can't say that for sure, but in my experience I've had a couple of friends and family members who were a bit iffy but once I came out and they had an experience, they warmed up a bit and realised that I was still the same, sexuality isn't an evil thing that eats away at people It depends on the person I suppose but I'm sure if they're your friends and you come out to them, they'll realise that the person they love is bisexual, and it's not a bad thing.
